Category: Marriage
Fatwa#: 5006
Asked Country: United Kingdom

Answered Date: Feb 20,2002

Title: Dear Imam, I dnt feel attracted to my wife.

Question

She has such a good heart & cares for me, but I just feel like I cant be intimate with her or even just kissing her. She doesnt deserve this treatment but I cant help how I feel. If Im not giving her rights as regards intimacy what is the best solution? Talaaq? I just dont think I can live with someone who just doesnt seem to make me feel like wanting them in that way. I want to give it time to see if things may change with the help of Allah, but what if my feelings dont change? We are a young couple please help & make Duaa. I just dont want to hurt her at all.

Answer

There are a number of other rights besides intimacy. Talaaq should only be a
last resort.

We suggest you build up love for her, firstly, by constant Du'aa. Secondly,
display outstanding moral kindness and compassion. Thirdly, try and be
intimate with her even if you don't feel like it. Perhaps, this intimacy
would develop some love for her. Fourthly, ponder over the sacrifices she
has made for you, look at all her good points. Be positive and accommodate
her within your feelings.

A bit of Du'aa, coupled with enthusiasm, courage and confidence, would,
Insha Allah, build up some love for her.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Mufti Muhammad Kadwa
FATWA DEPT.

CHECKED AND APPROVED: Moulana Imraan Vawda

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