Fatwa: # 9845
Category: Misc. Fiqh
Country: South Africa
Date: 20th October 2003

Title

My husband is addicted to internet porn. I have tried to confront him but my answer is that Allah Ta'aalah has created man with different needs from women. I feel cheated, HELP!!!

Question

Answer

Jazakallah+for+presenting+your+problem+to+the+institute.+%0D%0A%0D%0AYou+mention+your+husband%27s+habit+of+viewing+porn+and+how+this+negatively+impacts+upon+you.+Sister+let+me+suggest+to+you+that+you+should+not+take+his+actions+personally.+He+is+an+adult+and+fully+accountable+for+his+acts+of+omission+and+commission.+I+can+also+understand+that+you+feel+hurt+and+rejected.+You+are+Allah+Ta%27ala%27s+gift+to+your+husband+and+through+the+institution+of+marriage+Allah+Ta%27ala+made+sexual+gratification+and+pleasure+lawful+for+your+husband+with+you.+Yet+he+turns+to+haraam+and+commits+Zina+of+the+eyes%2C+heart+and+perhaps+ears+too.+You+have+perhaps+already+spoken+to+him+about+the+pain+it+is+causing+you+and+also+how+abhorrent+this+practice+must+be+to+Allah+Ta%27ala+and+that+he+should+stop+viewing+porn.%0D%0A%0D%0ASister+use+the+opportunity+of+Ramadaan+to+create+a+most+beautiful+atmosphere+of+deen+in+your+home.+Encourage+all+your+family+members+to+spend+more+time+reciting+the+Quran.+Let+each+member+choose+at+least+one+%27ruku%27+a+day+to+read+in+English+with+all+of+you+sitting+together+and+listening+and+learning+why%2C+what+for+and+how+Allah+Ta%27ala+tells+us+to+conduct+our+lives+as+Muslims.+You+could+perhaps+choose+relevant+sections+on+love%2C+marriage%2C+obedience+to+Allah+Ta%27ala%2C+the+relationship+between+husband+and+wife+etc.+You+could+also+speak+to+an+a%27aleem+and+ask+him+which+sections+could+possibly+have+the+greatest+effect+on+your+husband.+Be+careful+not+to+single+him+out+in+front+of+anybody+but+use+your+wisdom%2C+tact+and+love+to+win+your+husband+over.%0D%0A%0D%0AAllah+Ta%27ala+has+created+men+and+women+with+equal+sexual+desires.+There+is+no+scientific+proof+that+men+have+greater+or+more+sexual+desires+than+women.+Allah+Ta%27ala+has+commanded+men+and+women+to+practice+modesty%2C+so+your+husband%27s+assertion+is+incorrect.+If+it+was+that+men+have+greater+and+different+needs%2C+why+did+Allah+Ta%27ala+command+women+to+be+careful+also%3F%0D%0A%0D%0AThe+important+issue+here+is+not+of+who+has+the+greater+need+for+sexual+gratification%2C+but+that+the+need+should+be+fulfilled+according+to+Allah+Ta%27ala%27s+commands+and+that+haraam+must+be+avoided.+When+a+man+makes+love+to+his+wife%2C+he+earns+rewards+from+Allah+Ta%27ala%2C+this+act+of+his+with+his+wife+is+a+form+of+ibaadah.+He+fulfills+his+wife%27s+rights%2C+he+showers+his+love+on+his+wife+and+acknowledges+that+she+pleases+him+and+he+pleases+her.+Their+marital+bond+becomes+stronger+too.+He+abstains+from+sin%2C+and+he+thus+submits+to+Allah+Ta%27ala%27s+commands.+%0D%0A%0D%0AWhen+he+views+porn%2C+he+condemns+himself+to+Allah+Ta%27ala%27s+wrath%2C+he+becomes+a+tool+of+shaitaan+who+is+hell-bent+on+destroying+him+and+his+imaan+becomes+weakened.+He+should+think+about+the+fact+that+the+situation+or+act+in+which+a+person+dies+is+the+very+one+in+which+a+person+will+be+raised+up+on+Qiyamat+day.+What+will+the+position+be+of+one+whose+last+sighting+and+thoughts+were+engrossed+in+haraam%3F+Another+very+disturbing+aspect+of+porn+is+that+most+of+these+evil+movies+are+made+by+using+girls%2C+women+and+children+who+have+been+kidnapped+or+tricked+into+slavery+as+part+of+the+%27sex-trade%27.+How+can+any+man+who+has+a+mother%2C+sister%2C+wife%2C+daughter%2C+nieces+etc+ever+bring+himself+to+view+pictures+of+women+who+have+been+torn+away+from+their+loved+ones+and+forced+into+this+awful+life%3F+Instead+all+men+and+especially+Muslim+men%2C+should+rather+go+and%0D%0Adestroy+this+sex-trade+wherever+it+exists%2C+this+will+bring+Allah+Ta%27ala%27s+mercy+to+descend+on+human+beings.%0D%0A%0D%0AI+suggest+that+you+make+lots+of+dua+and+ask+Allah+Ta%27ala+to+guide+all+of+us%2C+men+and+women+on+the+right+path+and+away+from+evil.+Read+tahadjud+salaah+in+abundance%2C+ask+your+husband+to+join+you%2C+especially+in+Ramadaan.+Insha%27allah%2C+he+will+realise+his+mistakes+and+turn+to+Allah+Ta%27ala+with+sincererity+and+repentance.%0D%0A%0D%0AMay+Allah+Ta%27ala+soften+our+hearts+and+guide+us+all+towards+good+and+away+from+evil.+Ameen.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand+Allah+Ta%27ala+Knows+Best%0D%0A%0D%0A1SOCIAL+DEPT.%0D%0A%0D%0ACHECKED+AND+APPROVED%3A+Mufti+Ebrahim+Desai

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