Fatwa: # 8694
Category: Character & Morals
Country: South Africa
Date: 28th May 2003

Title

There are parents who allow or insist on their children studying subjects, after school, that are not appropriate for Muslims, e.g. Ballet, Modern dancing, Drama, Band, Piano, Cheer-leading etc.

Question

There are parents who allow or insist on their children studying subjects, after school, (not required, but optional), that are not appropriate for Muslims. These include subjects like Ballet, Modern dancing, Drama, Band, Piano, Cheer-leading etc. Often they are paying a fortune for these lessons. I am concerned about what the children are learning from this, other than the subject itself. Many feel the children are little, it's harmless fun & will learn the right things when they are older. What can we tell the parents? Should we tell the parents anything? Many feel we should worry about ourselves and our families first, set a good example for others to follow.

Answer

Jazakallah+for+the+very+important+query+which+you+have+sent+to+the+institute.+May+Allah+Ta%27ala+guide+every+one+of+us+to+remain+on+the+straight+path+and+to+sincerely+pay+heed+to+the+upbringing+of+our+children.+May+Allah+Ta%27ala+guide+Muslim+parents+to+strive+to+imbibe+an+Islamic+culture+into+their+children%27s+lives+so+that+grow+up+with+an+Islamic+personality+which+will+make+them+proud+to+be+the+flag-bearers+of+Islam+at+all+times.+May+Allah+Ta%27ala+guide+both+the+parents+and+their+children+to+be+equipped+with+the+knowledge+and+the+practice+of+deen+which+will+stand+them+in+good+stead+and+prepare+them+to+hold+their+own+against+the+onslaught+against+Muslims+throughout+the+world.+Ameen.%0D%0A%0D%0AAs+parents+we+need+to+teach+our+children+to+LOVE+Allah+Ta%27ala.+This+love+can+be+developed+from+infancy+if+the+home+is+filled+with+suitable+role+models.+If+the+child%27s+socialization+process+centers+around+the+teachings+of+Nabi+%28sallallaahu+alayhi+wassallam%29+and+around+Allah+Ta%27ala%27s+commandments%2C+the+child+will+learn+to+love+Allah+Ta%27ala+and+be+prepared+to+obey+HIS+commandments.+Our+children+need+to+learn+that+Islam+is+not+just+a+part+of+a+Muslim%27s+life+but+a+complete+way+of+life.+A+true+Muslim+believes+that+his%2Fher+salvation+is+through+the+guidance+from+Allah+Ta%27ala.+To+attain+this+salvation%2C+parents+need+to+teach+their+children+that+faith+and+action+have+to+be+combined.+Faith+without+%28correct+deed%29+action+is+of+no+value+and+action+without+faith+is+of+no+value+to+a+Muslim+either.%0D%0A%0D%0AA+child%27s+formative+years+are+most+important+as+the+child+is+really+an+%22open+slate.%22+What+the+parents+inscribe+on+that+slate+is+what+will+be+reflected+in+the+child%27s+later+years.+It+is+stated+in+a+Hadith+of+Nabi+%28sallalaahu+alayhi+wassallam%29%2C+%22What+is%0D%0Alearned+in+childhood+is+like+something+engraved+on+a+stone.%22+Imam+Ghazali+%28ra%29+states+that+the+stone+may+break+up+but+the+engraving+will+not+be+obliterated.+As+Muslims%2C+each+one+of+us+have+been+taught+from+infancy+the+kalimah+professing+%22+that+there+is+no+GOD+but+Allah+Ta%27ala+and+that+Muhammad+%28sallalaahu+alayhi+wassallam%29+is+HIS+messenger.+Parents+have+to+become+aware+of+temptations+in+life+which+divert+their+attention+and+interest+away+from+why+Allah+Ta%27ala+created+us.+The+world+has+been+created+for+our+pleasure+and+use.+We+have+been+created+for+one+reason+only%3A+To+worship+Allah+Ta%27ala.+%0D%0A%0D%0AWe+live+in+a+%22high+pressure%22+environment+and+since+Allah+Ta%27ala+has+endowed+us+with+intelligence+and+choice%2C+we+have+to+strive+to+submit+to+the+good+Will+of+Allah+Ta%27ala+and+obey+His+laws.%0D%0A%0D%0AIslam+demands+sound+conviction+and+opposes+blind+imitation.+We+are+enjoined+by+Islam+to+employ+our+faculties+to+the+fullest+extent+when+exercising+our+freedom+of+choice.+Along+with+this+freedom+of+choice+Allah+Ta%27ala+demands+that+we+fulfill+our+responsibilities+with+regards+to+our+children%27s+moral+and+spiritual+upbringing.%0D%0A%0D%0ALet+us+take+a+good+look+at+the+extra-curricular+activities+you+have+mentioned+below.%0D%0A%0D%0ABallet%2C+modern+dancing%2C+drama%2C+band%2C+piano+and+cheer-leading.%0D%0A%0D%0AAll+these+activities+are+a+pure+imitation+of+the+kuffar+lifestyles.+None+of+these+activities+featured+in+the+life+of+any+Sahabaa+%28RA%29+and+they+definitely+are+not+the+precepts+of+Nabi%28sallallaahu+alayhi+wassallam%29.+These+activities+are+of+no+value+at+all.+They+do+not+add+value+to+the+life+of+the+Muslim.+Nor+will+these+activities+benefit+a+Muslim+in+this+world+or+the+hereafter.+Oh+dear%2C+I+have+probably+raised+the+ire+of+some+parents+by+saying+these+activities+will+not+benefit+a+Muslim+in+this+world.%0D%0A%0D%0AWhy+do+I+raise+this+point+about+%22benefit%3F%22+Firstly%2C+what+is+the+child+going+to+do+with+the+above+activities+and+perhaps+qualifications+if+he%2Fshe+develops+a+talent+for+these+activities%3F+Go+on+to+become+a+professional+dancer%2C+musician%2C+actor+and+cheer+leader%3F+Is+this+child+going+to+earn+a+living+with+these+so+called+talents%3F+Will+Allah+Ta%27ala+be+pleased+with+these+activities+and+give+the+parents+and+child+more+barakah+in+this+world+and+a+high+status+in+Jannah%3F%0D%0A%0D%0AMore+important%2C+will+these+activities+give+the+parents+a+higher+rating+up+the+%28social%29+status+ladder+and+thus+open+up+the+doors+to+more+non-Islamic+past-times%3F+Like%2C+%22My+child+goes+for+bla+bla+classes+or%2C+my+child+has+won+these+trophies+in+the+said+bla+bla+competitions.%22+So+my+point+again+is%2C+how+will+these+activities+benefit+the+child%3F+The+parents+and+their+children+may+enjoy+fame+and+develop+%22pride%22+which+accrues+by+participating+in+these+activities.+Or+the+child+may+develop+some+confidence%2C+competency+or+dexterity+in+performing+some+of+these+activities.%0D%0A%0D%0AI+challenge+every+parent+whose+children+are+attending+these+extra+curricular+activities+to+examine+their+hearts+and+tell+themselves+that+they+are+earning+Allah+Ta%27ala%27s+pleasure.+We+Muslims+have+the+Quran+and+the+Hadith+which+clearly+teach+us+about+what+is+acceptable+and+expected+of+us+as+Muslims.+If+we+have+the+wealth+and+the+know-how+to+send+our+children+to+the+above+mentioned+classes%2C+we+also+have+the+know-how+about+what+pleases+and+displeases+Allah+Ta%27ala.+If+we+have+the+desire+turn+our+children+into+%22something+special%22%2C+we+should+also+make+a+point+of+knowing+what+is+going+to+make+our+children+%22MOST%22+special+to+our+Creator.%0D%0A%0D%0AEvery+Muslim+child%27s+right+over+his%2Fher+parents+is+that+he%2Fshe+MUST+be+brought+up+with+DEEN+and+deeni+knowledge.+The+child+has+to+have+role+models+around+him%2Fher+so+that+he%2Fshe+can+internalize+and+practice+upon+the+knowledge+gained.+Depriving+one%27s+child+of+a+deeni+upbringing+and+education+will+condemn+the+parents+to+Allah+Ta%27ala%27s+displeasure.+Many+parents+send+their+children+to+madrassa+but+that+is+where+the+deeni+knowledge+and+practice+starts+and+ends.+When+the+children+get+home%2C+another+set+of+rules+and+culture+prevails.+The+%27aaleem%2F%27aleema+teaches+the+child+about+what+is+loved+and+disliked%2C+what+is+acceptable+%2Fnot+acceptable%2C+what+is+allowed+and+what+is+forbidden+by+Allah+Ta%27ala.+However%2C+the+child+finds+that+at+home+what+is+disliked%2C+unacceptable+and+forbidden+by+Allah+Ta%27ala%2C+prevails+in+his%2Fher+home.+Conflicting+messages+are+being+given+to+the+child.+This+creates+not+only+confusion+and+dissonance+in+the+child%27s+mind%2C+but+the+child+begins+to+mistrust+his+environment+as+some+adults+have+to+be+lying+and+others+telling+them+the+truth%2C+but+who%3F%0D%0A%0D%0AThe+children+are+encouraged+to+put+in+many+hours+of+practice+on+learning+the+lines+for+their+Drama+classes.+The+children+who+go+for+these+extra+curricular+activities+often+take+time+off+or+are+frequently+absent+from+Madrassa.+This+means+that+the+parents+place+greater+importance+on+non-deeni+activities+and+the+child+develops+a+mind+set+that+madrassa+is+just+a+by+the+way+activity+of+little+importance.%0D%0A%0D%0AInstead+of+responding+to+the+adhaan%2C+the+child+is+busy+rehearsing+on+the+drum%2C+flute%2C+recorder+or+synthesizer+or+whatever+musical+instrument.+A+great+amount+of+time%2C+energy+and+money+is+spent+by+the+parents+to+make+sure+their+child+is+well+prepared+for+any+of+these+activities.+My+question+is%2C+are+they+prepared+to+make+an+equal+investment+on+the+child%27s+Deeni+education+and+upbringing%3F%0D%0A%0D%0AMay+Allah+Ta%27ala+protect+every+Muslim+girl+from+becoming+a+cheer-leader%2C+ameen.+I+truly+wonder+just+how+many+parents+are+aware+of+the+culture+that+surrounds+this+awful+fitnah.+%28+I+find+it+difficult+to+even+call+it+an+activity+or+sport%2C+because+it+is+neither.%29+This+is+a+purely+American+innovation+and+it+is+so+sad+that+our+parents+are+ignorant+of+it%27s+ramifications.+The+American+girls%2C+%28and+lets+face+it%2C+we+Muslims+shamelessly+love+to+ape+our+worst+enemies%29+who+become+cheer+leaders+do+so+for+many+reasons+but+there+is+one+special+reason.+They+long+to+be+taken+to+bed+by+any+one+of+the+guys+who+are+in+their+favourite+team+whom+they+are+cheering+for.+The+fellows+know+this+for+a+fact+and+they+take+full+advantage+of+the+girls.+Some+parents+may+say+that+they+supervise+their+daughters+and+that+this+is+not+the+case+here+in+South+Africa.+Will+they+please+examine+their+hearts+and+tell+themselves%2C+%22What+is+different+in+the+activities+of+a+cheer-leader+in+terms+of+what+the+girls+wear+and+DO+on+the+field+in+South+Africa+and+America.%22+Then+let+them+ask%2C+%22What+could+be+different+when+they+go+backstage%3F%22+The+teachers+and+parents+cannot+monitor+the+children+all+the+time%2C+Shaitaan+has+already+got+the+children+in+his+grasp%2C+all+that+is+now+needed+is+the+destruction+of+the+modesty+and+imaan+of+these+children.%0D%0A%0D%0ALets+not+fool+ourselves.+The+parents+who+allow+their+children+to+participate+in+these+activities+also+allow+the+viewing+of+television+and+movies+in+the+same+%22democratic%22+manner.+The+children+also+read+magazines+and+books+which+promote+the+same+culture+of+innovation.+Research+in+western+countries+has+revealed+that+these+leave+a+lasting+impression+on+the+minds+of+children.+These+alien+western+values+and+culture+which+are+contrary+to+Allah+Ta%27ala%27s+commands+take+over+the+children%27s+lives+and+mold+their+minds.+The+children+slowly+but+surely+develop+antipathy+towards+Islamic+laws+and+practices+because+they+begin+to+find+these+restrictive%2C+old-fashioned+and+unacceptable+to+their+newfound+culture.+Negative+peer+pressure+is+an+added+insult+to+the+Muslim+child%27s+mind.+Parents+start+crying+tears+of+blood+when+these+same+children+become+defiant+and+go+on+to+bring+into+the+home+more+alien+practices.+The+parents+then+find+that+they+have+no+control+over+their+children+who+are+openly+defiant+and+dismissive+of+their+Islamic+identity.%0D%0A%0D%0AParents+may+often+say%2C+%22He%2Fshe+is+still+small%2C+there+is+no+harm+in+letting+them+learn+this+or+that.+When+they+grow+up+they+take+life+more+seriously+and+do+what+is+necessary.%22+If+you+have+allowed+your+child+to+beat+up%2C+bully+and+steal+from+an+early+age%2C+if+you+have+not+stopped+the+child%2C+if+you+have+aided+and+abetted+the+wrong+behavior%2C+is+your+child+going+to+give+it+all+up+when+he%2Fshe+reaches+a+maturity%3F+Allah+Ta%27ala+does+not+misguide+anybody.+One+who+has+gone+astray+will+not+find+the+right+path+until+she%2Fhe+makes+the+choice+to+find+it+once+again.+However%2C+if+the+child+has+not+been+taught+to+value+and+desire+the+right+path%2C+will+the+child+really+want+to+find+it%2C+belong+to+it+and+treasure+it%3F%0D%0A%0D%0ARemember%2C+what+the+child+has+learned%2C+especially+when+paid+for+and+encouraged+by+the+parents%2C+is+engraved+in+stone.%0D%0A%0D%0AAs+parents+we+need+to+examine+our+own+upbringing+and+lifestyle.+If+our+rights+were+not+fulfilled+in+that+we+did+not+have+adequate+deeni+education+as+children%2C+are+we+going+to+make+the+same+mistake+with+our+children%3F+Unfortunately%2C+so+many+of+our+generation+grew+up+with+an+Indian+or+western+culture.+We+ourselves+need+to+get+back+to+our+Roots.+That+is+to+ISLAM.+Islam+means+submission%2C+purity+and+obedience+to+the+will+of+Allah+Ta%27ala.+As+Muslims+we+should+stop+settling+for+poor+substitutes+and+actively+seek+to+improve+our+practice+and+knowledge+of+deen.+I+recall+a+professor+of+English+who+reacted+to+an+adult+student%27s+childish+behavior+during+a+tutorial.+She+said+rather+sarcastically%2C+%22Learning+is+said+to+have+occurred+only+when+behavior+change+occurs.%22+As+parents+we+need+to+change+our+behavior+from+one+that+apes+the+kuffar+to+one+which+is+in+keeping+with+the+precepts+of+Nabi+%28salallaahu+alayhi+wassallam%29.%0D%0A%0D%0AAlhamdoelillah%2C+there+are+so+many+avenues+our+children+can+be+directed+in+seeking+this+knowledge.+Our+greatest+wealth%2C+treasure+and+pride+can+lie+in+the+love+of+Allah+Ta%27ala+when+our+children+grow+up+with+not+only+a+secular+education+but+also+a+deeni+education.+Both+of+these+can+serve+them+and+benefit+the+children+and+parents+in+this+world+and+the+hereafter%2C+insha%27allah.+There+are+many+secular+extra+curricular+activities+which+are+acceptable+and+beneficial+for+our+children.+For+instance%2C+swimming%2C+marshal+arts%2C+athletics%2C+debating%2C+speech+training%2C+Math%2C+Science%2C+Quranic%2C+Hadith%2C+Fiqh+etc.+competitions.+Older+boys+and+girls+should+participate+in+them+separately+to+maintain+modesty+and+thereby+observe+Allah+Ta%27ala%27s+commandments+of+%22Purdah.%22+It+is+also+important+to+teach+the+children+to+stop+when+salaah+becomes+due%2C+perform+salaah+and+then+resume+their+activity.%0D%0A%0D%0AMay+Allah+Ta%27ala+grant+parents+the+Hidayah+to+fulfill+their+children%27s+rights+over+them.+The+greatest+inheritance+a+parent+can+leave+their+child+is+a+deeni+upbringing.+A+pious+child+is+of+the+greatest+benefit+to+a+parent+for+it+is+that+same+pious+offspring+who+will+continue+to+make+dua+for+you+long+after+you+have+left+this+world.+Although+Jannah+lies+under+a+mother%27s+feet+and+the+father+is+the+key+to+Jannah%2C+our+children+can+also+be+of+benefit+to+us+in+the+kabr+and+the+aagirah.+May+Allah+Ta%27ala+guide+every+parent+to+strive+to+fulfill+their+children%27s+right+over+them.+Ameen.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand+Allah+Ta%27ala+Knows+Best%0D%0A%0D%0A1SOCIAL+DEPT.%0D%0A%0D%0ACHECKED+AND+APPROVED%3A+Mufti+Ebrahim+Desai

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