Fatwa: # 44849
Category: Jurisprudence and Rulings...
Country:
Date: 22nd April 2020

Title

Talaaq Query

Question

Assalamu A’laikum wa Rahmatullah


My wife and I have been married for 2 and a half years and love each other very much. We can't imagine living without each other and want to be together until we die. We both have a high temper and get angry easily when we argue with each other. In our anger, we often say hurtful things we do not mean at all.

In one argument, our temper and anger got the best of us and things escalated very quickly. In her anger, my wife tells me that "she wants to leave." I ask her what she means by that and she doesn't say anything. So out of anger, I ask her since you said that "do you want a divorce?" to which she responds "yes". At this point, my anger substantially increased and without thinking of the consequences I said "You got it" because I wanted to hurt her at the moment. My wife starts breaking down and at this moment I realized I made a huge mistake. Neither of us ever meant the things we said and said them out of pure anger. We never intended a separation form each other. This is the first time I said anything like "yes" or "you got it".

On a few other arguments, we made indirect or allusive threats to each other of ending the relationship or leaving the relationship but we never truly intended to end the relationship or never used words such as "Talaq" or "Divorce".

My question is since I asked my wife a direct question about divorce and she said yes and I responded with "you got it" out of extreme anger and without ever intending to divorce, does it count as the first Talaq? 

What are our options since we do not want to divorce and separate from each other? 

Please help us as we are very anxious and we are looking for help with our marriage.

Jazakallahu khairan 

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

In principle, there are two types of Talaaq.

1.     Sareeh: Plain and clear words of divorce. This type constitutes a revocable divorce irrespective of one’s intention. After one such divorce, the husband has the right to reconcile and take back his wife without performing a new Nikah. Three divorces will cause a permanent irrevocable divorce.

2.     Kinaayah: Ambiguous and allusive words which may imply divorce; this type will only constitute divorce provided the husband intended divorce If the husband did intend Talaq with such words, one Talaq Baa’in (Irrevocable divorce) will occur. In this case, the nikah will terminate and the couple can only reconcile by performing a new Nikah.

In the situation in reference, the words ‘you got it’ are in reply to a direct question of divorce. Therefore, they will fall under the category of Sareeh.[1] Accordingly, one Talaq Raj’ee has occurred. If you wish to reconcile, you may verbally take back your wife. You will only possess two Talaqs after this.

It is essential for a person to be mindful of what he utters, irrespective of the emotions that he is experiencing. A slip of the tongue in a moment of anger may end up causing sorrow and regret for the rest of one’s life. One should always maintain his cool and be wary of what he says.

You also state that we made indirect or allusive threats to each other of ending the relationship or leaving the relationship’, the ruling of such statements will also be in accordance to the principles cited above. If you seek further clarity, you may revert to us at admin@daruliftaa.net Ref: Bilal Pandor.

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Bilal Yusuf Pandor

Student Darul Iftaa

Lusaka, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai

 


الأشباه والنظائر لابن نجيم (ص: 128) [1]

الْقَاعِدَةُ الْحَادِيَةَ عَشْرَةَ: السُّؤَالُ مُعَادٌ فِي الْجَوَابِ

وَفِيهَا مِنْ كِتَابِ الطَّلَاقِ: قَالَتْ لَهُ أَنَا طَالِقٌ.

فَقَالَ نَعَمْ، تَطْلُقُ.

وَلَوْ قَالَتْ: طَلِّقْنِي فَقَالَ: نَعَمْ.

لَا، وَإِنْ نَوَى، قِيلَ لَهُ أَلَسْتَ طَلُقَتْ امْرَأَتَكَ.

قَالَ: بَلَى.

طَلُقَتْ لِأَنَّهُ جَوَابُ الِاسْتِفْهَامِ بِالْإِثْبَاتِ، وَلَوْ قَالَ: نَعَمْ.

لَا، لِأَنَّهُ جَوَابُ الِاسْتِفْهَامِ بِالنَّفْيِ، كَأَنَّهُ قَالَ: نَعَمْ مَا طَلَّقْتُ (انْتَهَى).

رد المحتار (11/ 6)

ولو قيل له : طلقت امرأتك فقال : نعم أو بلى بالهجاء طلقت بحر ( واحدة رجعية ، وإن نوى خلافها ) من البائن أو أكثر خلافا للشافعي

 (قوله طلقت امرأتك) وكذا تطلق لو قيل له ألست طلقت امرأتك على ما بحثه في الفتح من عدم الفرق في العرف بين الجواب بنعم أو بلى كما سيأتي في الفروع آخر هذا الباب. (قوله طلقت) أي بلا نية على ما قررناه آنفا (قوله واحدة) بالرفع فاعل قوله ويقع وهو صفة لموصوف محذوف أي طلقة واحدة، أفاده القهستاني (قوله رجعية) أي عند عدم ما يجعل بائنا

 

شرح مختصر الطحاوي للجصاص (5/ 56)

وذلك لأن دلالة الحال في مثل ذلك قائمة مقام النطق به، ألا ترى أن رجلًا لو قال لآخر: طلقت امرأتك؟ فقال: نعم، كان ذلك كقوله: نعم طلقتها، وإن كانت: "نعم": ليست عبارة عن الطلاق، ولا فيها دلالة عليه

 

الموسوعة الفقهية الكويتية (16/ 214)

وَمَنْ قِيل لَهُ: أَطَلَّقْتَ امْرَأَتَكَ؟ فَقَال: نَعَمْ، طَلُقَتِ امْرَأَتُهُ وَإِنْ لَمْ يَنْوِ؛ لأَِنَّ نَعَمْ صَرِيحٌ فِي الْجَوَابِ، وَالْجَوَابُ الصَّرِيحُ لِلَّفْظِ الصَّرِيحِ صَرِيحٌ (2)

 

الفتاوى الهندية (8/ 138)

ولو قالت أنا طالق فقال نعم طلقت ولو قاله في جواب طلقني لا تطلق وإن نوى قيل لرجل ألست طلقت امرأتك فقال بلى تطلق كأنه قال طلقت لأنه جواب الاستفهام بالإثبات ولو قال نعم لا تطلق لأنه جواب الاستفهام بالنفي كأنه قال ما طلقت كذا في الخلاصة

 

DISCLAIMER - AskImam.org questions
AskImam.org answers issues pertaining to Shar'ah. Thereafter, these questions and answers are placed for public view on www.askimam.org for educational purposes. However, many of these answers are unique to a particular scenario and cannot be taken as a basis to establish a ruling in another situation or another environment. Askimam.org bears no responsibility with regards to these questions being used out of their intended context.
  • The Shar's ruling herein given is based specifically on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question.
  • AskImam.org bears no responsibility to any party who may or may not act on this answer and is being hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused.
  • This answer may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of AskImam.org.
  • Any or all links provided in our emails, answers and articles are restricted to the specific material being cited. Such referencing should not be taken as an endorsement of other contents of that website.
The Messenger of Allah said, "When Allah wishes good for someone, He bestows upon him the understanding of Deen."
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]