Fatwa: # 44396
Category: Jurisprudence and Rulings...
Country:
Date: 19th April 2020

Title

Women attending schools - What should one do?

Question

Assalamualaikum, I was born a female in a Muslim family, allahamduallah, in the Middle East but came to live in the west about 2 years ago. Due to modern days we are expected to be at schools and getting an education. Even though, back at home I was in a mixed school (both genders) it was so much better and modest if you could say so. But here in the west there is no ounce of dignity in them as you may know. I grew up not knowing much about my religion other than the 5 prayers and fasting during Ramadan. I never prayed and barely fasted or thought about Allah, but by Allah’s guidance I was led to the right path with a lot of knowledge and love for my religion. This happened shortly after I came to the west and I even wore the hijab allahamduallah. Now I have stopped praying again and there is no doubt in my mind that it is all the source of living here. Ever since I was guided by Allah I never came near haram food or thought about removing my hijab nor have I not tried to pray again. But something about the school and life here has drained so much energy from me that I do not feel like worshiping God anymore, astagfurallah. I know that if I was not stressed by school I could have easily got up and prayed till the next morning. But the thing is my parents do not believe that free mixing is haram and always quote the Quran saying that Allah told us to seek knowledge. But from what I know and highly believe is that God told us to seek knowledge about our religion and not things that are taught in school. Because I am supposed to please them I am forcing myself to complete high school. But even after I told them that I wanted to get married after I graduate they refused and told me to continue learning and that marriage is not going to benefit me in any way unlike education. Please help me on this issue as I am only trying to obey and worship Allah but these distractions are preventing me from doing anything. I know free mixing is haram but so is disobedience towards parents. With going to school I stop praying and continue to go astray from my religion and I do not know how to prevent going to this school.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

 

Respected sister,

 

We take note of your query. You mention that you were guided to the straight path, but now due to your environment, you do not feel like doing good anymore. Your sending this query is a sign of your Imaan and that your heart wants to come back to the straight path. So now you have to do whatever is in your ability to come back to Allah Ta’ala. Remember, that it is in this same environment of the west that you were guided to the straight path. While we cannot change the environment we are in, we can change how we react and conduct ourselves in the environment.

Remember that two wrongs don’t make a right. Going to an un-Islamic school is wrong, but that is not a valid excuse to miss Salaah. Rather in such a condition, one should turn more to Allah Ta’ala and be more punctual on Salaah, fasting and wearing Hijab etc.

 

You mention that the condition of your school is against Islamic principles, hence it is not permissible to attend such a school. In such a case it will be permissible to go against your parents’ wishes. However, at all times and in all situations, one should not disrespect or argue with his parents. Rather, one should explain to them with utmost respect and wisdom.

 

We advise you to discuss your situation with some influential members of your family or a local Alimah who could speak to your parents and encourage them to let you leave school and get married as soon as possible.

 

As you mention, the encouragement in the Quraan and Hadith is with regards to seeking Deeni knowledge and not for secular education. Also, mixing freely with the opposite gender is wrong. The place for a woman is her house. However, while you are still in school and in an Un-Islamic environment, you should do the following:

 

1)     As far as possible, abstain from sins. Even if you have to be in a mixed gathering, you can still protect your eyes and heart. Also make sure to wear your hijab when leaving your house.

2)     Continuously make Istighfaar and be remorseful over your sins.

3)     Take up courage and read all your Fardh Salaah even if you don’t feel like it. Also try to read Salaatul Hajaat daily and make Duaa to Allah Ta’ala to open up a way for you. Remember that He Alone can change hearts.

4)     Read the following Duaa abundantly:

 

 يَا حَيُّ يَا قَيُّومُ بِرَحْمَتِكَ أَسْتَغِيثُ أَصْلِحْ لِي شَأْنِي كُلَّهُ، وَلَا تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ 

Translation: Oh Allah, The Ever Living The All Sustaining, I beg You for Your mercy. Correct all my affairs for me and don’t leave me to my Nafs for even a blink of an eye. (Shuabul Imaan)[i]

 

5)     Identify a spiritual mentor, or any pious person who you can speak to and take advise from. You can also see the following website for spiritual guidance: https://darulmahmood.net/

 

Also try to obtain a copy of Qasidah Burdah of our Honourable Ustaad, Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb for spiritual upliftment. You may access it via the following link: https://daruliftaa.net/qaseeda-burdah/

 

We make Duaa that Allah Ta’ala guide us all to the straight path and keep us steadfast on Deen till our last breath. Ameen.

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

 

Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

 

 


[i] عمل اليوم والليلة لابن السني (ص: 48)

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَرُوبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا سَلَمَةُ بْنُ شَبِيبٍ، ح وَأَخْبَرَنَا ابْنُ مَنِيعٍ، حَدَّثَنَا هَارُونُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا زَيْدُ بْنُ الْحُبَابِ، حَدَّثَنَا عُثْمَانُ بْنُ مَوْهَبٍ، مَوْلَى بَنِي هَاشِمٍ قَالَ: سَمِعْتُ أَنَسَ بْنَ مَالِكٍ، رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ يَقُولُ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لِفَاطِمَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا: " مَا يَمْنَعُكِ أَنْ تَسْمَعِي مَا أُوصِيكِ تَقُولِي إِذَا أَصْبَحْتِ وَإِذَا أَمْسَيْتِ: يَا حَيُّ يَا قَيُّومُ بِرَحْمَتِكَ أَسْتَغِيثُ ". زَادَ هَارُونُ: «وَأَصْلِحْ لِي شَأْنِي كُلَّهُ، وَلَا تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ أَبَدًا»

 

شعب الإيمان (2/ 212)

أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ السُّلَمِيُّ، أَخْبَرَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ مَحْبُورٍ، حَدَّثَنَا زَكَرِيَّا بْنُ يَحْيَى، حَدَّثَنَا الْحَسَنُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ الْحُلْوَانِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا زَيْدُ بْنُ حُبَابٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عُثْمَانُ بْنُ مَوْهَبٍ قَالَ: سَمِعْتُ أَنَسَ بْنَ مَالِكٍ يَقُولُ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لِفَاطِمَةَ: " مَا يَمْنَعُكِ أَنْ تَسْمَعِي مَا أُوصِيكِ بِهِ أَنْ تَقُولِي إِذَا أَصْبَحْتِ وَأَمْسَيْتِ: يَا حَيُّ يَا قَيُّومُ بِرَحْمَتِكَ أَسْتَغِيثُ أَصْلِحْ لِي شَأْنِي كُلَّهُ، وَلَا تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ " قَالَ زَيْدٌ: وَكَانَ مِسْعَرٌ يَسْأَلُنِي عَنْ هَذَا الْحَدِيثِ وَقَالَ غَيْرُهُ عَنْ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ عُثْمَانَ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللهِ بْنِ مَوْهَبٍ قَالَ الْإِمَامُ أَحْمَدُ الْبَيْهَقِيُّ رَحِمَهُ اللهُ يَعْنِي: وَكُلُّ هَذَا الْإِشْفَاقِ مِنْهُ عَلَى مَا وُضِعَ فِي قَلْبِهِ مِنَ الْإِيمَانِ وَوُفِّقَ لَهُ مِنْ أَعْمَالِ الْإِيمَانِ عِلْمًا مِنْهُ بِأَنَّهُ إِذَا سُلِبَ التَّوْفِيقَ، وَوُكِلَ إِلَى نَفْسِهِ لَمْ يَمْلِكْ لِنَفْسِهِ شَيْئًا فَيَنْبَغِي لِكُلِّ مُسْلِمٍ أَنْ يَكُونَ هَذَا الْخَوْفُ مِنْ هَمِّهِ وَبِاللهِ التَّوْفِيقُ

 

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