Fatwa: # 44106
Category: Marriage (Nikah)
Country:
Date: 18th January 2020

Title

The etiquettes of Marital relations

Question

Assalamu alaikum,

                   Respected Mufti Sahab, I would like to ask some question regarding bed issues. I have read the book Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations by Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam al Kawthari. Alhumdullilah its a nice book. But after reading it full I still have some queries, and I am sure others may also be having this kind of questions in mind. I will not get better guidance and answer from anyone than from here.

1. I am recently married so I want to know that once when me and my wife copulate then after how many days or week again we can have intimate relation. Because the first time after intercourse the mani (sperm) has gone inside the wife, now should we leave doing intercourse as what was required for having a child that is done, so now for how long we have to wait and then we can do it again so that it does not harm the child. Or we can now only do it after nine months or so after the child is born. What is the guide line.

2. Sppose If we can do it, can we do it thrice or four times in a week, is there any harm in it. Or how may times in a month is recomended?

3. If the pregnancy test shows positive after two months of marriage, then should one stop relation completely or can one use condom or without condom and copulate so that is does not harm the child. Cane one have relation when wife is 5 or 6 months pregnant. When should one stop having relation, in the 9th month or before that.

4. What dua should the wife recite for good healthy and nice, pious male child and when. Should she read Surah Maryam, Surah Yousuf and Surah Yaseen daily? Is it that it will have adverse effect due to the effect of the heat of the surahs.    

5. Is there anyting that should be recited or any taweez so that the child is born easy and  normal and not through C-section operation?

6. My wife says that she does not feel anything and she does not enjoy when I insert. It is I who just feels the and enjoys. So when I finish, then by using my fingers I have to make her enjoy and ejaculate. Is it harmful if every time I do it with my hand to make her enjoy.

7. Also I come quick and she takes a long time. Does taking so long is normal in female or is there any problem. What should be done so that both of us enjoy while making relation. What should be the minimum/maximum time until one finishes. Your advice will be appreciated.

8. Can one read both the dua of copulation before hand and then proceed. Because there is chance that one may forget the dua during ejaculation so it is ok to read it before hand. Will one get the benefit and effect of dua if done before.

9. Do one have to  read namaz and recite the dua everytime one wants to have intimate relation with one’s wife. The dua which one recites when husband and wife say nafil paryer together and supplicate ( oh Allah bless my family for me and bless me for my family O Allah unite us with good and separate us , if you do with good.)

10. if one engages in oral sex and the wife is 5 or 6 pregnant then if the sperm goes inside the stomach of the wife does it harm the foetus or the wife in such a condition. Is oral sex haram or makroo.

Was' Salam

Jazzak Allah!

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Brother in Islam,

We make Dua that Allah Taa'la grant you a happy and prosperous marriage.

You state that you have read the book Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations by Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam al Kawthari. All the answers to your questions are in the book .

Question 1 and 2 : Pg : 7, 23 - 26

Question 3 : Pg :  28 - 30

Question 4 and 5 : Pg : 35-95, 100 -113

Question 6 and 7 : Pg : 76 - 93

Question 8 : Pg  :  96 -98

We also advise you to obtain the book "Sexuality in Islam" by Doctor Farouq Haffejee. It will make a useful read . It addresses the concerns you refer to .  This book can be obtained at :

https://hikmah.co.za/product/sexuality-in-islam-by-dr-farouk-haffejee/?_pos=1&_sid=2f59a5180&_ss=r

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Ahmad Patel

Student Darul Iftaa

South Africa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 

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