Fatwa: # 43482
Category: Character, Morals (Akhlaaq)
Country:
Date: 21st October 2019

Title

Being considerate of others feelings

Question

Salam, every morning my husband makes wudu and we live with the in laws. Their house is not very sound proof and every morning my husband makes wudu he does it so loud that he wakes up his mother and then she can’t go back to sleep. I tell him that he needs to be more considerate of other people feelings but I was wondering if it’s haram not to be considerate or care for others feelings?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Islam is a religion that governs all aspects of an individual’s life. Almighty Allah has revealed to us a religion that is perfect and will remain perfect till the end of time. To teach us this religion and practically show us how to implement it in our lives, Almighty Allah sent his beloved messenger Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). He lived his life in perfect accordance to the Shari’ah revealed by Almighty Allah. He showed us how to deal with each and every member of society. He informed us of the rights people hold over each other including the fact that some hold greater rights than others due to a stronger bond between people. Consider the following Ahadith,[1]

قال: المسلم من سلم المسلمون من لسانه ويده

Translation: “Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, a true Muslim is one from whose tongue and hands the Muslimeen are safe.”

النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: لا يؤمن أحدكم، حتى يحب لأخيه ما يحب لنفسه

Translation: “None of you can be a true believer until he loves for his brother Muslim that which he loves for himself.”

حَدَّثَنَا أَصْحَابُ مُحَمَّدٍ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، أَنَّهُمْ كَانُوا يَسِيرُونَ مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، فَنَامَ رَجُلٌ مِنْهُمْ، فَانْطَلَقَ بَعْضُهُمْ إِلَى حَبْلٍ مَعَهُ فَأَخَذَهُ، فَفَزِعَ، فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: لَا يَحِلُّ لِمُسْلِمٍ أَنْ يُرَوِّعَ مُسْلِمًا

Translation: “The Companions of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) told us that they were travelling with him. A man of them slept, and one of them went to the rope which he had with him. He took it, by which he was frightened. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: It is not lawful for a Muslim that he frightens a Muslim.”

فيجيء رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من الليل فيسلم تسليما، لا يوقظ النائم ويسمع اليقظان

Translation: “then Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) would come and make salaam in such a way that it would not awaken the sleeping person but the one who was awake would hear it.”

عن عائشة قالت: سألت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أي الناس أعظم حقا على المرأة؟ قال: زوجها قلت: فأي الناس أعظم حقا على الرجل؟ قال: أمه

Translation: “Aisha (Radhiyallahu Anha) says that I asked Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), which person holds the greatest right over a woman? He said, her husband. I asked, which person holds the greatest right over a man? He replied, his mother.”

جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: مَنْ أَحَقُّ بِحُسْنِ صَحَابَتِي؟ فَقَالَ: أُمُّكَ، قَالَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ: ثُمَّ أُمُّكَ، قَالَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ: ثُمَّ أُمُّكَ، قَالَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ: أَبُوكَ

Translation: “A man came to Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) and said, who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand? He said: Your mother. He again said: Then who? He said: it is your mother. He said: Then who? He said: Again, it is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he said: Then it is your father.”

The above Ahadith are clear on the importance of fulfilling the rights of others. Such character is clearly evident from the life of Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam). As stated earlier, some people hold greater rights over us, for example, our mothers. As such, one must be more vigilant when attempting to fulfil these rights.[2]

You state that your mother in-law is unable to go back to sleep once she is awoken. This obviously causes a lot of distress to her. Your husband must be reminded of his duties towards his mother. As was stated in the hadith earlier, when Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam) would enter the house, his salaam was loud enough for people to hear, but soft enough to not disturb the sleeping people in the house. This shows that the sleeping person holds a right over us in the sense that we cannot unduly wake him/her up. Now imagine how much weightier this right becomes given that the sleeper in this case is one’s own mother!

We understand that a person needs to perform wudhu in order to go to the masjid for his salaah which is incumbent upon him. However, your husband should be advised to try and make as little noise as possible. If you live in a double storey house, he should perform his wudhu in the floor besides the one in which his mother sleeps. Alternatively, if none of this is possible and the mother is still caused distress, the husband may perform his wudhu at the masjid.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Bilal Yusuf Pandor

Student Darul Iftaa

Lusaka, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 


سنن الترمذي ت شاكر (5/ 70) [1]

2719 - حدثنا سويد قال: أخبرنا عبد الله قال: أخبرنا سليمان بن المغيرة قال: حدثنا ثابت البناني قال: حدثنا ابن أبي ليلى، عن المقداد بن الأسود، قال: أقبلت أنا وصاحبان لي قد ذهبت أسماعنا وأبصارنا من الجهد، فجعلنا نعرض أنفسنا على أصحاب النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم، فليس أحد يقبلنا، فأتينا النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم، فأتى بنا أهله، فإذا ثلاثة أعنز، فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: «احتلبوا هذا اللبن بيننا»، فكنا نحتلبه، فيشرب كل إنسان نصيبه، ونرفع لرسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم نصيبه، فيجيء رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من الليل فيسلم تسليما، لا يوقظ النائم ويسمع اليقظان، ثم يأتي المسجد فيصلي ثم يأتي شرابه فيشربه: «هذا حديث حسن صحيح

 

مسند إسحاق بن راهويه (1/ 216)

172 - أَخْبَرَنَا جَرِيرٌ، عَنْ عُمَارَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي زُرْعَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ: جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: مَنْ أَحَقُّ بِحُسْنِ صَحَابَتِي؟ فَقَالَ: «أُمُّكَ» ، قَالَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ: «ثُمَّ أُمُّكَ» ، قَالَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ: «ثُمَّ أُمُّكَ» ، قَالَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ: «أَبُوكَ»

 

السنن الكبرى للنسائي (8/ 254)

9103 - أخبرنا محمود بن غيلان قال: حدثنا أبو أحمد قال: حدثنا مسعر، عن أبي عتبة، عن عائشة قالت: سألت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أي الناس أعظم حقا على المرأة؟ قال: «زوجها» قلت: فأي الناس أعظم حقا على الرجل؟ قال: «أمه»

 

سنن أبي داود (4/ 301)

5004 - حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ سُلَيْمَانَ الْأَنْبَارِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ نُمَيْرٍ، عَنِ الْأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ يَسَارٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي لَيْلَى، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا أَصْحَابُ مُحَمَّدٍ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، أَنَّهُمْ كَانُوا يَسِيرُونَ مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، فَنَامَ رَجُلٌ مِنْهُمْ، فَانْطَلَقَ بَعْضُهُمْ إِلَى حَبْلٍ مَعَهُ فَأَخَذَهُ، فَفَزِعَ، فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «لَا يَحِلُّ لِمُسْلِمٍ أَنْ يُرَوِّعَ مُسْلِمًا»

 

صحيح البخاري (1/ 11)

10 - حدثنا آدم بن أبي إياس، قال: حدثنا شعبة، عن عبد الله بن أبي السفر، وإسماعيل بن أبي خالد، عن الشعبي، عن عبد الله بن عمرو رضي الله عنهما، عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: «المسلم من سلم المسلمون من لسانه ويده، والمهاجر من هجر ما نهى الله عنه» قال أبو عبد الله: وقال أبو معاوية، حدثنا داود هو ابن أبي هند، عن عامر، قال: سمعت عبد الله يعني ابن عمرو، عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم وقال عبد الأعلى، عن داود، عن عامر، عن عبد الله، عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم

 

صحيح البخاري (1/ 12)

13 - حدثنا مسدد، قال: حدثنا يحيى، عن شعبة، عن قتادة، عن أنس رضي الله عنه، عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم وعن حسين المعلم، قال: حدثنا قتادة، عن أنس عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: «لا يؤمن أحدكم، حتى يحب لأخيه ما يحب لنفسه»

 

 

انعام الباري ج 1 ص 369   [2]

 

 

 

 

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