Fatwa: # 42830
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Date: 27th July 2019

Title

Love marriage. Parents disapprove. What should be done?

Question

Salam Alaykum sir,

My name is Mounika was Hindu but I am following Islam. I and a Muslim guy named Irfan are in love from past 8 years. He made a promise on Allah( Allah Kasam) and sais that he will marry me.

At first I was not into Islam but I have started doing Ramdhan Fastings from my 6th class along with some Muslim friends. My parents never opposed it and even after seeing my determination my mother also do fasting for 2 days in the month of Ramdhan. But they are not following Islam eventhough they believe in Allah. 

After he came into my life he was ok at first slowly he started saying about Islam but I myself started learning about it and learnt how to Namaz, Tahajjud prayers, Nafl Namaz, salatul Tasbeeh, Salatul Tauba, Surah Yaseen I can say without seeing in Arabic even I learnt it's it's me too. Now still continuing to learn more and more sir. He started seeing all these and loved me more than that and promised me again that he will marry me by giving a word Allah Kasam.

Both sides parents are not accepting. But I have trust in Allah makes my parents to realize about it soon. But his parents are too arrogant they blackmailing him that they will die if he married me. And they even said to us that they will raise a complaint against me that I have trapped their son. Even my dad said he will die. 

If they commit suicide it's their mistake only thing I can do for them is praying Allah to protect them. Both families were good friends as my and his dad works in same office.

Even after that also he said he will marry me but all of a sudden after ramdhan he came to me and abused me so many times and all of a sudden he is levaing the city.

What should I do sir.. I told him even it is Muslim or non mulsim when you do a promise on Allah you should not neglect it u shud fulfill. Allah made you to say that how can you reject me now. After 8 years of love I have chnaged everything. I m struggling with my parents. But he is saying he can do anything it's his wish. 

I did Isthikara too in the guideance of local  Imam.in drem I got that we both getting married. But after these also he is saying he will leave me. What I'd is to their family sir I never thought bad about single person in my life. I always give zakat and help people who ever in need. Allah has given me all good qualities.

I don't want to loose him sir. Please help me sir.

Thanks,

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. 

 

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. 

 

Sister in Islam 

 

We take note of the contents of your email. It is pleasing to note that Allah Ta’ala has blessed you with Islam and noble qualities. We make Dua that Allah keeps you steadfast on Islam. 

 

Your relationship with Irfan is of concern. Islam prohibits premarital relationships and love before marriage due to the many negative consequences of such a relationship. You will understand the reasons for such a prohibition through your personal experience. In Islam, a woman is regarded as a precious pearl. If anyone is interested in marrying her, he should propose for her and marry her. This is in keeping with the dignity and honour of the woman. A woman is not meant to be abused and dumped. 

 

Sister, Irfan has probably been a means for you to become a Muslim. However, he has trespassed the boundaries of Islam in having a love relationship with you and has created an expectation of marriage within you. Our advice is that you bring the courage and overcome this relationship. We understand that this will be an emotional trauma, however, it is possible that the future is better for you. 

Allah Ta’ala says: 

                           وَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يعلم و أنتم لا تعلمون             

(Surah Al Baqarah 2:216) 

Translation “And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.”

 

Alhamdulillah, it is pleasing to note that you perform Salah and make Dua. Thank Allah in all 

earnestness, seek His help in overcoming this issue and make Dua for a bright and successful future. 

Your bad experience with Irfan should not deter you from Islam. You should draw and distinguish 

between Islam and bad practicing Muslims. Train yourself to be a loyal and true Muslim. 

 

Sister, if you require any assistance you may contact us. We will assist you and pray for you. 

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best 

 

Mohamed Ebrahim bin Ismail Abdullah 

 

Student - Darul Iftaa 

 

Pietermaritzburg, South Africa 

 

Checked and Approved by, 

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

 

14-11-1440| 17-07-2019 

______ 

 

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