Fatwa: # 42137
Category: Marriage (Nikah)
Country:
Date: 23rd March 2019

Title

I broke up after 2 years with my girlfriend

Question

Salams,

I was in premarital relationship and it broke off

I was talking to a girl for 2 years and we were planning on getting married in 2 years time when we had finished our studies, we live in different cities but I was planning to move back to my hometown (which is where she lives) after my studies. We mainly talked, hardly dated, no intimacy every involved. Both our families knew about our relationship and its only after a sibling of mine did something wrong in her life that the girls family did not want to send there daughter into my family due to the stain on the family repuation caused by my sibling. 

Me and the girl have stopped talking altogether as per her parents wishes, they have told me that even if i get the situation with my sibling sorted out and it is very unlikely that i will be able to get married to their daughter due to everyone knowing what my sibling has done. The girl is very obidient and will do what her parents says and so she has hope that her parents will see in 2 years time that I am capable of marrying her and wishes for this to happen but has very little hope due to her parents strictness on the matter

I have started to repent and trying to become more steadfast on my imaan. I hope to get married to this girl in 2 years time god willing I am capable of marrying her and family situation is resolved.

Is there any duas/wazifas that I can pray for me to marry her in the future and soften her parents hearts towards me and would you have any other advise on this matter?

Jzk

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Muhtaram Brother,

We commend you on terminating the illicit relationship and realising your mistake.

This is a clear sign of your Iman. Your Iman is rejecting your mistake and spurred you to repent. You did so sincerely and renewed your Iman. You have acted correctly.

You state you you have a desire to marry the girl in two years’ time. Firstly, repent to Allah Ta’ala for any connection that you may have had with the girl in reference.  Moreover, have a sincere intention to protect yourself in the future and to avoid speaking to the opposite gender without a genuine need. Our advice to you is that you control your emotions and refrain from thinking about the girl in reference.  The more you keep your mind occupied in thinking about her it will create restlessness within your heart. 

You should put your trust in Allah and seek strength from him. Du’aa is the weapon of a believer. Implore Allah Ta’ala to change the temperament of her parents and accept you as their son in law.

Allah Ta’ala knows what is best for us. Put your faith and hope in your Creator. We are mortal, fallible and totally dependent on our Creator. The knowledge of Almighty Allah is absolute. He knows the future. He knows what is good and bad for us. Our knowledge is limited. You may think the girl is good for you whereas it may not be so. Focus on the perfect knowledge of Allah and His decree.

You may also discuss the issue with some responsible person in the family, perhaps an elderly reputable person to communicate and influence her parents to get you married to their daughter. If the girl is meant for you, well and good.

 

If her parents do not agree to your wish, you should accept fate and move on with life. You should discuss your wish with your seniors, and adopt principles to propose to another girl.

The test of our Imaan and submission to taqdeer is to accept that our partner is decreed.

Finally, Allah will decree what is best in His infinite knowledge for you.


Apart from adopting the means, the following duas are effective. Allah will put barakah in the means you adopt and guide you to the right spouse. [1]

لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنْتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ

 

Translation: ‘There is none worthy of worship except You, Glory to You; Indeed, I have been of the transgressors.

 

This is the supplication of Dhun-Nun (Prophet Yunus Alaihis Salaam) while he was in the belly of the whale.

Rasullullah ﷺ said:

فَإِنَّهُ لَمْ يَدْعُ بِهَا رَجُلٌ مُسْلِمٌ فِي شَيْءٍ قَطُّ إِلاَّ اسْتَجَابَ اللَّهُ لَهُ ‏"

So indeed, no Muslim man supplicates with it for anything, ever, except Allah responds to him.”

 (Jamiut-Tirmidhi)

 

 

ربي اني لما انزلت الي من خير فقير

Transliteration: “Inni Lima anzalta illayye min khairin faqeer”

 

Translation: “Indeed I am in need of goodness”

(Surah Al-Qasas, Verse 24)

 

This is the supplication of Moosa (Alayhis Salaam), which he read while he was a traveller and desperate for his basic needs.

 

"‏ اللَّهُمَّ رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً، وَفِي الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً، وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ ‏"‏‏

Translation: "O Allah! Give to us in the world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire."

(Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Al-Muslim)

We make dua to Allah to grant you a suitable and compatible spouse. Aameen.

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

 

Muhammad I.V Patel

Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia

 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 


[1]  Khawaateen Ke Masaa'il Aur Unka Hal- (Mufti Yusuf Ludhyanwi Rahimahullah)

 

  Mustanad Majmoo'aah Wadhaaif- (Mufti Nidhaamud Deen Shamzi Rahimahullah)

 

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