Category: Character, Morals (Akhlaaq)
Fatwa#: 40487
Asked Country: United States

Answered Date: May 11,2018

Title: I'm planning to pursue higher studies but want to get married and my parents are against it. What can I do? What duas do you recommend?

Question

Assalamualaikum,

I had asked a question and was desperately waiting for the answer. It's been 2 weeks now. Please reply. I'll repeat my question.please answer quickly as I am in a great turmoil.

"Assalamualaikum,

Sorry for the long post but im helpless.

I am a guy from India planning to pursue my higher studies in the west InshaAllah very soon. I'm however afraid (really afraid) I will fall into fitnah (women) when I go to the university. Hence, I strongly wish to get married before going to University ( at least have my nikah done so I can talk on phone at least with my wife when I'm there). I have not talked directly told them I want to get married due to the aforementioned reasons, but I did give them a hint that IdI like to get married which made them angry ( they think I'll not be able to concentrate in my studies if I get married.....but what they don't know is that if I dont get married their son will fall into major sins and not concentrate in his studies as a result). Another reason they told was that I have no job so how will I look after her. I told them all I want is a nikah and not walima and she can stay at her place until I finish my studies ( one year InshaAllah), but they won't allow that.

I am sorry I am saying this but I want to make you understand my present situation. I am filled with so much lust that I can literally feel it running through my blood (especially when I go to bed and also at other times). Im really afraid I'll fall into Haram acts most of the youth are falling into today. I'm really afraid if I'll runn out of sabr Nauzubillah may Allah protect me from such calamities befalling me.

I would like to know what can I do in this situation. Also can I get some amals and wazifas I can do to get married quickly before going for studies so that I can safeguard my imaan at the campus and also some wazifas to change my parents heart.

Sorry once again for the long post. But I am really desperate for the answer. I have posed the same question to many sheiks but none of them replied. I hope you will reply to my question soon.

JazakAllah khair,"

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

[1] Duas that can be recited for seeking a spouse have been mentioned in Ask Imam #32242 at the following link: http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/32242

[2] In addition to earnestly making dua, you need to take practical steps to explain to your parents the difficulty you are facing. Since your parents have not responded positively to you, we advise you to seek the assistance of local scholars or relatives to speak with them. Elders in your family whom your parents look up to would be an ideal way to revisit the issue.

You may also refer to our previous answer, #30584 on this issue at the following link: http://askimam.org/public/question_detail/30584  

[3] Finally, we advise you to read: When Desire Takes Over: Advice For College & University Students by Mawlana Abdus Subhan Dalvi. This book is available in PDF format at the following link: https://ia800800.us.archive.org/1/items/WhenDesireTakesOver-AdviceForCollegeUniversityByShaykhAbdusSubhan/WhenDesireTakesOver-AdviceForCollegeUniversityByShaykhAbdusSubhanDalvi.pdf

We make dua that Allah make it easy for you to get married. Ameen.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best,

Mufti Sohail ibn Arif,
Assistant Mufti, Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

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