Category: Jurisprudence and Rulings (Fiqh)
Fatwa#: 39970
Asked Country: United Arab Emirates

Answered Date: Mar 14,2018

Title: How should I propose a marriage to a girl I like, what is the reward of abstaining from haram?

Question

Assalamu Alaikum,

I am a senior in a university where the environment is un-islamic. Alhamdu lillah, Allah has kept me safe from the fitna of relationships and opp gender friendships. However, over the course of almost 4 years, there have been times in the past where I was tempted to my limits! (but I knew I was not ready for something serious). I am currently in my final semester and in a place where I do like a girl and am aware that she likes me too. I have never spoken to her as I know my head would not be in the right place.... and I do have to answer to my Creator.

a) If I would like to proceed with this forward without breaking laws of Allah, how to go about it? Please note, I do not know anyone who indirectly knows her. In addition, I am not arab and she is...while I hate to mention, the cultural difference syndrom is wide spread in Muslims. Furthermore, I am a shy person!

b) I was told that if you leave something haram for Allah, He replaces it with something better (can't remember the reference of hadith). In this case, I am doing Jihad on my nafs not to do something wrong, how does this hadith apply to me?

I know I am asking too many questions, they maybe answered previously but I would highly appriciate it if they could all be answered in detail.

May Allah reward you.

Thank you

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

As-salaamu `alaykum wa-ramatullahi wa-barakatuh.

a)    It is pleasing to note that you have exercised restraint in the university environment until now. That is tawfeeq from Allah. Thank Allah for that and be steadfast. Remember, shaitaan and nafs are two enemies from within you to continue tempting you to do haram. Avoid all avenues that will jolt your carnal desires and also seek refuge in Allah against your nafs and shaitaan. If you are interested in that girl, you may discuss that with your parents. An appropriate female family member may approach the girl to discuss the possibility of marriage.

b)    If you continue exercising restrain and practicing on taqwa, Allah will grant you something better according to the absolute knowledge of Allah.

Consider the following hadith;

مَا تَرَكَ عَبْدٌ شَيْئًا لِلَّهِ لَا يَتْرُكُهُ إِلَّا لَهُ إِلَّا عَوَّضَهُ اللهُ مِنْهُ مَا هُوَ خَيْرٌ لَهُ فِي دِينِهِ وَدُنْيَاهُ

حلية الأولياء وطبقات الأصفياء (2/ 196)

 “Any person leaves anything out only for the pleasure of Allah, Allah will replace it with something better than it in his world and the hereafter”.

 (Hilyatul awliya wa tabakattul asfiya)

And Allah Ta`ala Knows Best.

Hussein Muhammad.

Student Darul Iftaa

Arusha, Tanzania

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 

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