Category:
Fatwa#: 39665
Asked Country: United States

Answered Date: Feb 11,2018

Title: Is marriage a needs-based or is it a rights-based?

Question

Is getting married selfish because you’re not giving your whole heart to Allah SWT?

In other words:

Since Islam legislates marriage for mankind, would it be makruh (i.e., disapproved) if a Muslim woman, for example, got married because she wanted to be in a marital relationship (i.e., desire-driven), and not because she feared Allah SWT (i.e., woman wasn't worried that being unmarried might lead to fornication/adultery)?

Do you think that it is wrong for a Muslim, whom, knowing themselves to be personally chaste and not worrying about falling into fornication or adultery, nonetheless gets married (simply because they may want to be in a marital relationship?). Meaning, in order to get married in Islam, is it required for a person to have a specific sexual need? What does our religion say about individuals that are asexual (i.e., not having overwhelming sexual desires leading them to temptation/sins like most people) that get married. Would that be makruh (and/or haaram)? If a person wants to get married, because, for example, he/she simply wants it (but knows, very well, that he/she would not commit sins if he/she remained unmarried), does that make his/her act of marriage invalid? Does it make marriage a curse?


I am wondering: is marriage a “needs-based” mercy that Allah SWT has legislated for mankind (and, therefore, based on having a sexual need), or is it a “rights-based” mercy that Allah SWT has legislated for mankind (and, therefore, is not based on having a fear of committing sins per se, but rather on simply being a human being)?

JazakAllah khair and may Allah SWT bless you

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Marriage in Islam is needs based as well as rights based. The following texts are clear on that.

 

Allah Ta’āla says in the holy Quran:

 

{يَاأَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِنْ نَفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا} [النساء: 1]

Translation: “Oh mankind! Fear your Lord, Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them has spread abroad a multitude of men and women”.

 

وَأَنْكِحُوا الْأَيَامَى مِنْكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِنْ يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِنْ فَضْلِهِ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ [النور: 32]

Translation: “Get the unmarried ones among you married and (marry) your slaves, male and female, that are righteous. If they are poor, then Allah will make each of them independent by His grace. Allah is of ample means, All knowing.

 

{وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ الَّذِينَ لَا يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحًا حَتَّى يُغْنِيَهُمُ اللَّهُ مِنْ فَضْلِهِ} [النور: 33]

Translation: And let those who cannot find someone to marry maintain chastity until Allah grants them both independence through His favours…

 

{وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ مِنْكُمْ طَوْلًا أَنْ يَنْكِحَ الْمُحْصَنَاتِ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ فَمِنْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ مِنْ فَتَيَاتِكُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ} [النساء: 25]

Translation: Those among you who cannot afford to marry free believing women, may marry believing slave women.

 

{وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ} [الروم: 21]

Translation: Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquillity and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and mercy towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think.

 

{هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَهُنَّ} [البقرة: 187]

Translation: They (your wives) are a clothing (covering) for you and you too are a clothing (covering) for them.

 

Rasulullah صلي الله عليه وسلم mentioned:

5066 ... فقال لنا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «يا معشر الشباب، من استطاع الباءة فليتزوج، فإنه أغض للبصر وأحصن للفرج، ومن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم فإنه له وجاء» صحيح البخاري (7/ 3 م: دار طوق النجاة)

 

Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power”.

If a person cannot control his desires and he is in danger of falling into adultery, then it is Wajib for him to get married. If he gets married with the intention of saving himself from sinning, it will be regarded as an act of Ibadah. [1]

 

Conversely, if a person does not have overwhelming desires and he is certain that if he doesn’t get married, he would not commit sin, then it is Sunnah for him to get married. [2] [3]

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Rabiul Islam

Student Darul Iftaa
Detroit, Michigan, USA 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.



[1]  عن سعد بن أبي وقاص، أنه أخبره أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: «إنك لن تنفق نفقة تبتغي بها وجه الله إلا أجرت عليها، حتى ما تجعل في فم امرأتك» (صحيح البخاري (1/ -2120 م: دار طوق النجاة)

 

Translation: Rasulullah صلي الله عليه وسلم said: “You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for Allah’s sake even if it were a morsel which you put in your wifes mouth”.

 

شعب الإيمان (7/ -340 مكتبة الرشد للنشر) أحمد بن الحسين بن علي بن موسى الخُسْرَوْجِردي الخراساني، أبو بكر البيهقي (المتوفى: 458هـ)

5100 - أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو عَبْدِ اللهِ الْحَافِظُ، نا أَبُو الْعَبَّاسِ هُوَ الْأَصَمُّ، ثنا يَحْيَى بْنُ أَبِي طَالِبٍ، ثنا يَعْقُوبُ بْنُ إِسْحَاقَ الْحَضْرَمِيُّ، ثنا الْخَلِيلُ بْنُ مُرَّةَ، ثنا يَزِيدُ الرَّقَاشِيُّ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: "إِذَا تَزَوَّجَ الْعَبْدُ فَقَدْ كَمُلَ نِصْفُ الدِّينِ، فَلْيَتَّقِ اللهَ فِي النِّصْفِ الْبَاقِي"

 

Rasulullah (Sallallahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) also declared: “When the servant of Allah marries, he has fulfilled half the (responsibilities laid on him by the) faith, so, let him be God conscious with respect to the other half”.

 

المعجم الأوسط (8/ 335 م: دار الحرمين - القاهرة) سليمان بن أحمد بن أيوب بن مطير اللخمي الشامي، أبو القاسم الطبراني (المتوفى: 360هـ)

8794 - حَدَّثَنَا مُطَّلِبُ بْنُ شُعَيْبٍ، نا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ صَالِحٍ، حَدَّثَنِي الْحَسَنُ بْنُ الْخَلِيلِ بْنِ مُرَّةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ يَزِيدَ الرَّقَاشِيِّ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «مَنْ تَزَوَّجَ فَقَدِ اسْتَكْمَلَ نِصْفَ الْإِيمَانِ، فَلْيَتَّقِ اللَّهَ فِي النِّصْفِ الْبَاقِي» بَابُ الْمِيمِ، مَنِ اسْمُهُ: مُطَّلِبٌ

 

[2]  الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (3/ 6 م: دار الفكر-بيروت)

(ويكون واجبا عند التوقان) فإن تيقن الزنا إلا به فرض نهاية وهذا إن ملك المهر والنفقة، وإلا فلا إثم بتركه بدائع.

(و) يكون (سنة) مؤكدة في الأصح فيأثم بتركه ويثاب إن نوى تحصينا وولدا (حال الاعتدال) أي القدرة على وطء ومهر ونفقة ورجح في النهر وجوبه للمواظبة عليه والإنكار على من رغب عنه (، ومكروها لخوف الجور) فإن تيقنه حرم ذلك.

 

الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (3/ 7 م: م: دار الفكر-بيروت)

(قوله: سنة مؤكدة في الأصح) وهو محمل القول بالاستحباب وكثيرا ما يتساهل في إطلاق المستحب على السنة وقيل: فرض كفاية، وقيل واجب كفاية وتمامه في الفتح، وقيل واجب عينا ورجحه في النهر كما يأتي قال في البحر ودليل السنية حالة الاعتدال الاقتداء بحاله صلى الله عليه وسلم

في نفسه ورده على من أراد من أمته التخلي للعبادة كما في الصحيحين ردا بليغا بقوله «فمن رغب عن سنتي فليس مني» كما أوضحه في الفتح. اهـ.

 

سبل الوفاق إلى أحكام الزواج والطلاق (ص: 13 م: دار الوراق، عمان، الأردن،) الدكتور صلاح محمد سالم أبو الحاج

مباح؛ وهو إذا لم يقصد إقامة السنة، بل قصد مجرَّدَ الشهوة ولم يخف شيئاً، لم يثب عليه؛ إذ لا ثواب إلا بالنية، فيكون مباحاً أيضاً كالوطء لقضاء الشهوة...

 

[3]  سنن ابن ماجه (1/ 592 م: دار إحياء الكتب العربية)

1846 - حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ الْأَزْهَرِ قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا عِيسَى بْنُ مَيْمُونٍ، عَنِ الْقَاسِمِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي، فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي، وَتَزَوَّجُوا، فَإِنِّي مُكَاثِرٌ بِكُمُ الْأُمَمَ، وَمَنْ كَانَ ذَا طَوْلٍ فَلْيَنْكِحْ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَجِدْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصِّيَامِ، فَإِنَّ الصَّوْمَ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ»

Translation: Rasulullah صلي الله عليه وسلم said: “Marriage is my sunnah, whoever disregards my sunnah is not from among us. And get married, because I’ll surely increase the population of my ummah through you.”

 

Marriage has also been commended as the way of the prophets.

 

{وَلَقَدْ أَرْسَلْنَا رُسُلًا مِنْ قَبْلِكَ وَجَعَلْنَا لَهُمْ أَزْوَاجًا وَذُرِّيَّةً...} [الرعد: 38]

Translation: Allah Ta’āla says: “We indeed sent messengers before you (O Muhammad), and We assigned them wives and children”.

سنن الترمذي ت بشار (2/ 382 م: دار الغرب الإسلامي - بيروت)

0108 - حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ بْنُ وَكِيعٍ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا حَفْصُ بْنُ غِيَاثٍ، عَنِ الحَجَّاجِ، عَنْ مَكْحُولٍ، عَنْ أَبِي الشِّمَالِ، عَنْ أَبِي أَيُّوبَ قَالَ:

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: أَرْبَعٌ مِنْ سُنَنِ الْمُرْسَلِينَ: الحَيَاءُ، وَالتَّعَطُّرُ، وَالسِّوَاكُ، وَالنِّكَاحُ.

 

صحيح البخاري (7/ 2 م: دار طوق النجاة)

5063 - حدثنا سعيد بن أبي مريم، أخبرنا محمد بن جعفر، أخبرنا حميد بن أبي حميد الطويل، أنه سمع أنس بن مالك رضي الله عنه، يقول: جاء ثلاثة رهط إلى بيوت أزواج النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم، يسألون عن عبادة النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم، فلما أخبروا كأنهم تقالوها، فقالوا: وأين نحن من النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم؟ قد غفر له ما تقدم من ذنبه وما تأخر، قال أحدهم: أما أنا فإني أصلي الليل أبدا، وقال آخر: أنا أصوم الدهر ولا أفطر، وقال آخر: أنا أعتزل النساء فلا أتزوج أبدا، فجاء رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إليهم، فقال: «أنتم الذين قلتم كذا وكذا، أما والله إني لأخشاكم لله وأتقاكم له، لكني أصوم وأفطر، وأصلي وأرقد، وأتزوج النساء، فمن رغب عن سنتي فليس مني»

 

Hadhrat Anas ibn Maalik (رضي الله تعالي عنه) said: Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) asking about the worship of the Prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam)? Allah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allah, I am the one who fears Allah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast, and I break my fast, I pray, and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.”

 

From this hadith we understood that, remaining celibate and abstaining from marriage. This is turning away from the Sunnah of the Prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam), who got married and also encouraged others to get married.

 

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