Category: Miscellaneous
Fatwa#: 39297
Asked Country: Canada

Answered Date: Oct 27,2017

Title: After the istikhara should my brother proceed with his marriage?

Question

Assalamoualoalaikoum
  I have a question regarding my brother.  My brother is 28 years old and he is looking to get married. He met a girl and he wants to marry her and we are not related. We don't know the girl family at all. My brother told my mother to call the girl parents for rishta (proposal) . My mother did it without any issue  and they even went to visit the girl family .  The girl side family did the istekara and my brother did it as well and it turn out to be positive. 
Few days after we had a " bhaat pakhee" means both family agree to proceed further with the next step the mariage. We invited the girl family over our house . The mother of the girl  was very very rude  and yelling  with my parents . Things that my mum never mentioned , the girl mother started putting word in my mum mouth . my parents got shocked and as a respect we didnt kick her out . My brother saw that and he also think it is rude but he said this was okay . According to me as a daughter i didnt like their behavior.  Therefore , this behavior of the mum  made my parents to think twice. my parents were still agreeing to proceed with the wedding .
As an elder sister , I had a feeling this is wrong but i didn't tell my parents to cancel the plan . it was very painful to someone insult my parents infront of my eyes. My father is a very pious man and so is my mother . My father is a hafeez ul quran and prays night and day and never skip a namaz . They are extremely humble person and he is 65 years old .Few days ago my father said he saw the prophet SAW in his dream .  So i thought to Asked my father to do istekhara and he did it twice  .Both time he had a very bad dream . One time my brother is getting beaten up and second time the couples are fighting. My father told that to my brother.
THis is when the issue start. He told my brother the istekhara result and he said we are not going against ALLAH . He shouldnt proceed this wedding .  My father told my brother, he can't come for this nikkah and be a witness if Allah subhana Watallah showed him this sign.  My brother start fighting with my father and  spoke rudely to him and said that we are bloking his wedding .  And he did istekhara and came good . My brother is not pious guy ,,, he doesnt pray 5 times. 
 So my question is if  my brother istekhara turn out good and my parents  istekhara is negatives and they are extremely unhappy aftr the istekhara.  As a sister i told him he did a  big sin for fighting with parents and this wedding wont have blessing of Allah .   Do you think it is a good idea to proceed with the wedding or not?  does it matter a parents istekhara to come positive or negative? or my brother istekara is enough since he will be the groom.


Jaza'kAllah

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

As-salaamu `alaykum wa-ramatullahi wa-barakatuh.

When there is a dispute in the family, one should make an attempt to resolve the dispute and keep the family united.

It is pleasing to note of the pious qualities of your father. However, it is possible the istikhara could be a reflection of his negative experiences with the girl`s family. Likewise, your brother`s istikhara could be a reflection of his mind set of wanting the girl at any cost.

Advise both to continue istikhara with a balanced mind until one attains certainty. It is also advisable to seek the counsel (mashwara) of appropriate people who know the girl`s family well. In the meanwhile, seek the assistance of Allah through salaah, zikr and dua.

And Allah Ta`ala Knows Best.

Hussein Muhammad.

Student Darul Iftaa

Tanzania

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 

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