Category: Marriage (Nikah)
Fatwa#: 39126
Asked Country: United States

Answered Date: Oct 08,2017

Title: Marriage when both spouses do not like each other

Question

Assalamu alaikum. I am getting married next month and my fiance is not good to me. I know i make mistakes and hurt her sometimes but irrespective of correcting my mistakes or make me understand that i did wrong, she abuses me and also disrespects and calls me by bad names. i never talk to her in loud voice but she is always rude to me. she every time tells me that i ruined her life, get lost and worst than this that i cannot even say. I do not want to marry her but she is also my relative from mother's side, so i cant say NO to marriage.  I always try to make her understand that im her husband, but she does listen a word. im really depressed and i dont know what to do. Please give me some advice as soon as possible because im about to get nikah next month. Also shall i tell my mother about all this? i do not want to ruin image of my fiance in eyes of my mother but i cannot take it anymore.. Please do make dua for me.. Jazak Allah khair

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

As-salaamu `alaykum wa-ramatullahi wa-barakatuh.

At the outset we wish to point out that it is prohibited to talk with your future wife. You should make tauba from that and terminate talking with her. Inform her through male family members that you would stop talking to her as it is prohibited in Shariah to do so.[1]

You should discuss your concern with your mother about the girl`s conduct. She knows the family best and will advise on the most appropriate cause of action to be taken to address your concern.

And Allah Ta`ala Knows Best.

Hussein Muhammad.

Student Darul Iftaa

Tanzania

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 



[1]

{حُرِّمَتْ عَلَيْكُمْ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُمْ وَعَمَّاتُكُمْ وَخَالَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُ الْأَخِ وَبَنَاتُ الْأُخْتِ وَأُمَّهَاتُكُمُ اللَّاتِي أَرْضَعْنَكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُمْ مِنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ وَأُمَّهَاتُ نِسَائِكُمْ وَرَبَائِبُكُمُ اللَّاتِي فِي حُجُورِكُمْ مِنْ نِسَائِكُمُ اللَّاتِي دَخَلْتُمْ بِهِنَّ فَإِنْ لَمْ تَكُونُوا دَخَلْتُمْ بِهِنَّ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ وَحَلَائِلُ أَبْنَائِكُمُ الَّذِينَ مِنْ أَصْلَابِكُمْ وَأَنْ تَجْمَعُوا بَيْنَ الْأُخْتَيْنِ إِلَّا مَا قَدْ سَلَفَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَحِيمًا} [النساء: 23]

 

 

{وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ إِلَّا مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ كِتَابَ اللَّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ وَأُحِلَّ لَكُمْ مَا وَرَاءَ ذَلِكُمْ أَنْ تَبْتَغُوا بِأَمْوَالِكُمْ مُحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ فَمَا اسْتَمْتَعْتُمْ بِهِ مِنْهُنَّ فَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا تَرَاضَيْتُمْ بِهِ مِنْ بَعْدِ الْفَرِيضَةِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا حَكِيمًا } [النساء: 24]

 

{ يَانِسَاءَ النَّبِيِّ لَسْتُنَّ كَأَحَدٍ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ إِنِ اتَّقَيْتُنَّ فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِي فِي قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌ وَقُلْنَ قَوْلًا مَعْرُوفًا} [الأحزاب: 32]

Fataawa Mahmudiyya, Vol 11, Pg 300.

Fataawa Haqqaniyya, Vol 2, Pg 486

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