Fatwa: # 37597
Category: Character, Morals (Akhlaaq)
Country: United Kingdom
Date: 10th December 2018


Mother in law and Daughter in law



i have a question with regards to family and marriage. i live with my mother and wife in the same house and it might just happen mymother says something wrong to my wife regarding any issue. now my wife would naturally get upset and this puts pressure on me because one side is my mother and one side is my wife. I am newly married and would like advice on how to deals with this issue? without upsetting the feelings of my mother and wife. do i address my mother with regards to what she said which was most certainly not right?

jazakaAllah khair


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

As-salaamu `alaykum wa-ramatullahi wa-barakatuh.

All human beings are not the same. Everyone has a different temperament. It is natural for one to disagree or dislike the conduct of others. Shariah advises us to overlook and tolerate.

This is more important among women as their emotions are generally charged faster than men.

Rasulullah ﷺ said;

«عَجَبًا لِأَمْرِ الْمُؤْمِنِ، إِنَّ أَمْرَهُ كُلَّهُ خَيْرٌ، وَلَيْسَ ذَاكَ لِأَحَدٍ إِلَّا لِلْمُؤْمِنِ، إِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ سَرَّاءُ شَكَرَ، فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ، وَإِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ ضَرَّاءُ، صَبَرَ فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ»

صحيح مسلم (4/ 2295)

“Strange is the condition of a believer, every condition has good for him, this (favour) is for non but a believer. When a pleasant thing comes to him, he is grateful, which is good for him. When a calamity befalls him, he is patient, which is good for him”. (Saheeh Muslim, Vol 4, Pg 2295. Ihya Turath)

Counsel your wife on this topic now and prepare her for any eventuality of disagreements. If you show her love, care and support, that will strengthen her tolerance and patience. 

And Allah Ta`ala Knows Best.

Hussein Muhammad.

Student Darul Iftaa

Arusha, Tanzania

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

DISCLAIMER - AskImam.org questions
AskImam.org answers issues pertaining to Shar'ah. Thereafter, these questions and answers are placed for public view on www.askimam.org for educational purposes. However, many of these answers are unique to a particular scenario and cannot be taken as a basis to establish a ruling in another situation or another environment. Askimam.org bears no responsibility with regards to these questions being used out of their intended context.
  • The Shar's ruling herein given is based specifically on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question.
  • AskImam.org bears no responsibility to any party who may or may not act on this answer and is being hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused.
  • This answer may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of AskImam.org.
  • Any or all links provided in our emails, answers and articles are restricted to the specific material being cited. Such referencing should not be taken as an endorsement of other contents of that website.
The Messenger of Allah said, "When Allah wishes good for someone, He bestows upon him the understanding of Deen."
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]