Category: Miscellaneous
Fatwa#: 37317
Asked Country: United Kingdom

Answered Date: Dec 18,2016

Title: Struggling to get married

Question

Assalamalaykum, 
i am struggling with marriage, a few months ago a boy came to see me regarding marriage, he then rejected me as i was not to his liking, a month later i was rejected by another man, since then i have been feeling worthless and this has had a major impact on my self-esteem, i feel distressed majority of the time, and i feel as though i will never get married, parents are not looking for anyone as they seem to think negative of all boys, will i ever get married?, these 2 boys were the only boys in my family and it is not possible for me to marry outside the family, no one understands my situation, they just tell me to get over it, what do i do?, please help, i made a mistake with the first proposal as i asked him too many questions, which i acknowledge and regret, i just want ease to come, please help 

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sister in Islam, we sympathize with your situation. However, you should never feel worthless. Never be despondent from the decree of Allah.

Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said, “How amazing is the affairs of a believer, for there is good in every affair of his/her. This is not the case with anyone except for a believer. Verily, if s/he has an occasion to feel delight, s/he thanks (Allah), thus there is a good for him/her in it (Allah increases his/her bounties). And if s/he is afflicted with difficulties, s/he endures patiently and there is a good for him/her in it (Allah rewards him/her for being patient).”[1]

Be patient and put your faith in Allah. Beseech the Almighty for a way out of your problems. Allah, the Merciful and Wise, has a plan for us all. Perhaps Allah is preserving you for a more suitable spouse.

We advise to seek council from the elders in your family and they can search for a spouse according to the situation. You may also read the following duas;

إِنِّي لِمَا أَنْزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ 

Transliteration: “Inni lima anzalata ilayya min khairin faqeer”

Translation: Surely I stand in need of whatever good You may send down to me.

Musa (عليه السلام) read this dua at the time of difficulty and was relieved.

اللهُمَّ آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً، وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ

Transliteration: Allahuma aatina fid dunya hasanah wa fil aakhirati hasanah wa qina adhaaban naar

Translation: “Oh Allah! Grant us goodness in this world and goodness in the Hereafter and protect us from the punishment of the Hellfire”[2]

May Allah grant you a suitable marriage partner. Ameen.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Saad Haque

Student Darul Iftaa
New Jersey, USA 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Husain Kadodia.

 

 

 

 

 



[1] صحيح مسلم ٢٩٩٩

حَدَّثَنَا هَدَّابُ بْنُ خَالِدٍ الْأَزْدِيُّ، وَشَيْبَانُ بْنُ فَرُّوخَ، جَمِيعًا عَنْ سُلَيْمَانَ بْنِ الْمُغِيرَةِ - وَاللَّفْظُ لِشَيْبَانَ - حَدَّثَنَا سُلَيْمَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا ثَابِتٌ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي لَيْلَى، عَنْ صُهَيْبٍ، قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «عَجَبًا لِأَمْرِ الْمُؤْمِنِ، إِنَّ أَمْرَهُ كُلَّهُ خَيْرٌ، وَلَيْسَ ذَاكَ لِأَحَدٍ إِلَّا لِلْمُؤْمِنِ، إِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ سَرَّاءُ شَكَرَ، فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ، وَإِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ ضَرَّاءُ، صَبَرَ فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ»

[2] مسلم٢٦٩٠

حَدَّثَنِي زُهَيْرُ بْنُ حَرْبٍ، حَدَّثَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ يَعْنِي ابْنَ عُلَيَّةَ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الْعَزِيزِ وَهُوَ ابْنُ صُهَيْبٍ، قَالَ: سَأَلَ قَتَادَةُ أَنَسًا أَيُّ دَعْوَةٍ كَانَ يَدْعُو بِهَا النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَكْثَرَ، قَالَ: كَانَ أَكْثَرُ دَعْوَةٍ يَدْعُو بِهَا يَقُولُ: «اللهُمَّ آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً، وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ» قَالَ: وَكَانَ أَنَسٌ إِذَا أَرَادَ أَنْ يَدْعُوَ بِدَعْوَةٍ دَعَا بِهَا، فَإِذَا أَرَادَ أَنْ يَدْعُوَ بِدُعَاءٍ دَعَا بِهَا فِيهِ

DISCLAIMER - AskImam.org questions
AskImam.org answers issues pertaining to Shar'ah. Thereafter, these questions and answers are placed for public view on www.askimam.org for educational purposes. However, many of these answers are unique to a particular scenario and cannot be taken as a basis to establish a ruling in another situation or another environment. Askimam.org bears no responsibility with regards to these questions being used out of their intended context.
  • The Shar's ruling herein given is based specifically on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question.
  • AskImam.org bears no responsibility to any party who may or may not act on this answer and is being hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused.
  • This answer may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of AskImam.org.
  • Any or all links provided in our emails, answers and articles are restricted to the specific material being cited. Such referencing should not be taken as an endorsement of other contents of that website.