Category: Marriage (Nikah)
Fatwa#: 37062
Asked Country: India

Answered Date: Nov 04,2016

Title: What should I do? My wife cheating on me

Question

 

I'm married for many years and have a daughter . I got married to my wife in an arranged marriage and everything has been normal till few months back. Recently I observed that my wife hasn't been behaving properly with me but I ignored it. She spent most of her time chatting on mobile, one day I got hold of her mobile in her absence and found shocking WhatsApp chat! She is having affair with someone and has even slept with him.

I don't know what to do. I love my daughter very much and don't want her to suffer. I'm ready to forgive my wife but I fear that in case I discuss this matter with her she might leave me out of guilt (or maybe she is waiting for an opportunity to leave). Is my marriage annulled? Can I still sleep with my wife?

Please guide me what should I do?

Answer

 

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

The contents of your email are of great concern. We make dua Allah guide you to whatever is best for you. Aameen.

According to Shariah, your marriage remains intact. You have two options:

1] Keep quiet and continue with the marriage

2] Confront your wife and address the issue

If your information is true, then if you keep quiet, there is a possibility that the chats will get deeper with more haraam and illicit relationship. This may eventually lead her to leave you. That is the fear you have in addressing the issue.

We also take note of your concern of addressing the issue. 

There are advantages and disadvantages in both situations. You know your wife better and if you can adopt wisdom and diplomacy in addressing the issue with her, there is a strong possibility of averting the dangers you refer to in addressing the issue. Addressing the issue may lead to her making taubah and consolidating the marriage. Some people are trapped in wrong and just need to be rescued, guided and redirected.

It is our opinion that you address the issue rather than maintaining silence as Nahi Anil Munkar [stopping a wrong] is fardh upon you. 

Turn to Allah with lots of dua and zikr and ask Allah to guide you and put effect in the means you adopt.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Ridwaan Ibn Khalid Esmail [Kasak]

Student Darul Iftaa
Katete, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai

 

 

 سنن أبي داود ت الأرنؤوط (6/ 395)

عن أبي سعيدٍ الخدريِّ، قال: سمعت رسولَ الله - صلَّى الله عليه وسلم - يقول: "مَنْ رأى منكراً فاستطاعَ أن يُغيِّره بيده، فليغيِّره بيده -وقطع هنَّاد بقية الحديث، ومَرَّ فيه ابنُ العلاء- فإنْ لم يستطعْ فبلسانه، فإن لم يستطعْ بلسانه فبقلبه، وذلك أضعفُ الإيمان

الناشر: دار هجر - مصر

الطبعة: الأولى، 1419 هـ - 1999 م

 

سنن أبي داود ت الأرنؤوط (6/ 394)

 وقال عمرو، عن هُشَيم: وإني سمعت رسولَ الله - صلَّى الله عليه وسلم - يقول: "ما مِن قومٍ يُعمَلُ فيهم بالمعاصي، ثم يَقدِرُونَ على أن يُغيِّروا، ثم لا يُغيَّروا إلا يوشِكُ أن يعمَّهُمُ الله منه بعقاب

الناشر: دار هجر - مصر

الطبعة: الأولى، 1419 هـ - 1999 م

 

صحيح مسلم (1/ 69)

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا وَكِيعٌ، عَنْ سُفْيَانَ، ح وَحَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ جَعْفَرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ كِلَاهُمَا، عَنْ قَيْسِ بْنِ مُسْلِمٍ، عَنْ طَارِقِ بْنِ شِهَابٍ - وَهَذَا حَدِيثُ أَبِي بَكْرٍ - قَالَ: أَوَّلُ مَنْ بَدَأَ بِالْخُطْبَةِ يَوْمَ الْعِيدِ قَبْلَ الصَّلَاةِ مَرْوَانُ. فَقَامَ إِلَيْهِ رَجُلٌ، فَقَالَ: الصَّلَاةُ قَبْلَ الْخُطْبَةِ، فَقَالَ: قَدْ تُرِكَ مَا هُنَالِكَ، فَقَالَ أَبُو سَعِيدٍ: أَمَّا هَذَا فَقَدْ قَضَى مَا عَلَيْهِ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ: «مَنْ رَأَى مِنْكُمْ مُنْكَرًا فَلْيُغَيِّرْهُ بِيَدِهِ، فَإِنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَبِلِسَانِهِ، فَإِنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَبِقَلْبِهِ، وَذَلِكَ أَضْعَفُ الْإِيمَانِ

لناشر: دار إحياء التراث العربي – بيروت

 

سنن أبي داود ت الأرنؤوط (4/ 553)

حدَّثنا عبدُ الله بن مَسلمةَ، عن مالكٍ، عن عبد الله بن دينارٍ عن عبد الله بن عمر، أن رسولَ الله - صلَّى الله عليه وسلم - يقال: "ألا كلُّكم رَاعٍ وكلُّكم مسؤول عن رعِيِّتَه: فالأميرُ الذي على الناسِ راعٍ عليهم وهو مسؤولٌ عنهم، والرجلُ راعٍ على أهلِ بيته وهو مسؤول عنهم، والمرأة راعية على بيت بَعلها وولده وهي مَسؤولة عنهم، والعَبدُ راعٍ على مالِ سيِّده وهو مَسؤولٌ عنهُ؛ فكلكم راعٍ، وكلكم مَسؤول عن رعيته"

الناشر: دار الرسالة العالمية

الطبعة: الأولى، 1430 هـ - 2009 



DISCLAIMER - AskImam.org questions
AskImam.org answers issues pertaining to Shar'ah. Thereafter, these questions and answers are placed for public view on www.askimam.org for educational purposes. However, many of these answers are unique to a particular scenario and cannot be taken as a basis to establish a ruling in another situation or another environment. Askimam.org bears no responsibility with regards to these questions being used out of their intended context.
  • The Shar's ruling herein given is based specifically on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question.
  • AskImam.org bears no responsibility to any party who may or may not act on this answer and is being hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused.
  • This answer may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of AskImam.org.
  • Any or all links provided in our emails, answers and articles are restricted to the specific material being cited. Such referencing should not be taken as an endorsement of other contents of that website.