Category: Psychological and Social
Fatwa#: 37060
Asked Country: United States

Answered Date: Nov 15,2016

Title: Husband not fulfilling rights

Question

Assalamualikum wr wb mufti Saab I'm a mother ofb2 kids aged 2 1/2 and 1 year old.. I'm pregnant with the third one.. Alhamdulilah my husband goes in tabling jamaath and I fully support it.. Going to office and dawa work itself consumes his maximum time.. He has very little time to spend with the family.. Like he goes mrng 9:30 and comes back home after magrib.. Has his dineer and then goes to isha salat the come back n get tired and sleeps.. Other hat tat he goes for city mashwara and shabbe Jumna which he will come after isha and shabbe jumma he sleeps there.. Daily He come home mrng after Ishraq salat around 8:00.. Also he goes local gasht and other masjid gasht were he will not be available from asr to isha.. 4 days in a week he comes only after isha.. I'm a pregnant woman n I feel very difficult in my daily chores.. Taking care of kids and cooking and everything.. I understand he s also busy.. My question s 1 What s the responsibity of the husband in this case..? 2 should he help me or it is woman work to do house work and men go in path of Allah 3 he thinks tat it's my job to take care of all thes things and quotes the example of fathima ra But He does some help for me but he gets very tired tat he himself not being helpful We live in United States and my family live in India My parents r more concerned that I'm helpless here They think tat he should also do some work at home I feel the whole world is sympathizing me except my husband My husband s willing to help me but he s not having time.. Also he s not feeling sympathy on me.. Atleast if he cannot help he can sympathize me so tat I feel little happy.. When he quotes the example of Shaba ra I feel bad that he cannot understand my state tat already I'm doing better lot of sacrifice he a not realizing it.. Pls help me and advice me how should I think and give me some examples of shahaba how they tackled their situation so that it may help me.. I can do sabr but when will he realize my sacrifice too.. Pls advice me elaborately.. Hope u understand my situation

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

We take note of your situation. May Allah make it easy for you.

Your husband should understand that it is necessary to spend time at home. While he does give a lot of time to jamat work, he should not compromise family time. Especially since you are pregnant, he should show you much more sympathy.

Sometimes lack of communication creates all sorts of thoughts about the next person. You may consider talking to your husband and telling him how you feel. Since he seems to be Allah conscious, he will listen to what you have to say.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

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