Fatwa: # 35812
Category: Divorce (Talaaq)
Country: United Kingdom
Date: 26th January 2019

Title

I am not happy with my two-month marriage

Question

Asslam alykum imam,it's sister in Islam I have been married for about two Months now,I have problem with the relationship,my husband his not the guy that I wanted he was not the one and I'm not really happy with this relationship and I think that if we be together more time I might loose my imaan,I'm 15 in the Uk but my real age is 16 I got married to not commit zina,I can't really go to the sharia law because I'm not old enough in the Uk to do that. And my husband don't want to divorce me,and I can't wait for 1 year to Devore him. I need ur help?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sister in Islam,

We take note of the contents of your email and your negative feeling towards your husband.

Sister, you have not stated what exactly is the problem with your husband. Why don’t you like your husband?

You are married for only two months. It takes time for newly married couples to adjust. Disagreements between spouses are common.

Be positive and focus on making the marriage work. If you are determined to sacrifice in making the marriage a success, Allah will be on your side.

We advise you to identify a trustworthy person in whom you could confide, seek his /her guidance, and intervene in assisting both of you to address your difficulty. There are solutions to all problems. Do not be hasty in making a decision.

Also, turn to Allah with dua and Salaahtul Haajah. Exercise restraint and be cautious in making a decision. A hasty decision is the effect of Shaytaan.

We make Dua to Allah to grant you courage to overcome your difficulty. Aameen.

The following marriage recipe by our beloved Ustaadh Hadhrat Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb (Hafidhahullah) will be useful: [1]

 

 

RECIPE FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE:

 

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

Translation: Oh our Rabb! Grant us the coolness (comfort) of our eyes (grant us pleasure and satisfaction) from our spouses and children (so that they never become a source of regret or distress for us in either world when they follow Islam properly), and make us Imaams (guides) of the pious (make our progeny pious and make us pious enough to guide pious people.)

(Sūrah Al- Furqaan, Aayah 74)

 

1. Fear Allah: It was the noble practice of Nabi ﷺ to conscientise the spouses about the fear for Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Quraan. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.

 

2. Never be angry at the same time: Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Nabi ﷺ and sought some advice. Nabi ﷺ replied, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkaat pg.433; HM Saeed)

 

3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other: Nabi ﷺ said: “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)

 

4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire: Luqman (Radhiallahu Anhu) while offering advice to his son said: “and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey”. (Surah Luqman v19)

 

5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly: Nabi ﷺ said, ‘A Mu’min is a mirror for a Mu’min.’ (Abu Dawud vol.2 pg.325; Imdadiyah) Advise with dignity and silently.

 

6. Never bring up mistakes of the past: Nabi ﷺ said: “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyaamah.” (Mishkaat pg.429; HM Saeed)

 

7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner: Nabi ﷺ confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda RA for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai Hadith2391)

 

8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled: Abu Bakr (Radhiallahu Anhu) resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)

 

9. At least, once every day, express your gratitude to your partner: Nabi ﷺ said, ‘Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.’ (Abu Dawud pg.662; Karachi)

 

10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness: Nabi ﷺ said, ‘All the sons of Adam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.’ (Tirmidhi Hadith 2499). 

 

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Muhammad I.V Patel

Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia

 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 

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