Category: Beliefs and Practices (Aqeedah)
Fatwa#: 33246
Asked Country: United States

Answered Date: Nov 04,2018

Title: I am divorced, now I got a proposal from someone I do not feel to be attractive, should I accept?

Question

Dillemma about Ishtikhara

As salam alaykum;

I've been divorced for 5 years and have a 7-year-old daughter. I have received a preposition of marriage from a brother from my country. The brother has never been married, I've conducted some research on him, he was never with any woman, pious, according to many people he's very generous, nice, wise and responsible. A good brother, a few years older than me. My sister and friends are pressuring me to get maried to him because he's pious and very generous. They think I might not get a good opportunity like him. I've prayed Ishtikhara for 4 days now, but I'm still confused, I'm not physically attracted to him at all although I appreciate his generous side. Sometimes I think about just go blindly and get married to him but by looking at his picture, my heart says totally the opposite "NO". People think that I'm getting older and have a daughter, my chances are limited and I should just accept because getting married is good. I don't know what to do, Should I do it or not? Should I keep praying Ishtikara or turn the brother down? I'm very tormented about this, I feel guilty about maybe not seeing him attractive. Please help me make up a mind. People tell me that I should refer to Rassoulullah (SAW)'s hadith (more or less) that we should marry the most religous amoung us. Please tell me what to do. Am I in a wrong in here? Am I aiming high that I shouldn't?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

As-salaamu `alaykum wa-ramatullahi wa-barakatuh.

Sister in Islam,

Our advise is you continue making istikhara.

The conduct and appearance of a person is known to a people. What is hidden is best known to Allah alone. Do not proceed in marriage without being sure. Should anything unfortunate surface later, you will have to deal with it and not people who advised you.

Also turn to Allah with dua, salaatul haajah and zikr.

And Allah Ta`ala Knows Best.

Hussein Muhammad.

Student Darul Iftaa

Arusha, Tanzania

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

DISCLAIMER - AskImam.org questions
AskImam.org answers issues pertaining to Shar'ah. Thereafter, these questions and answers are placed for public view on www.askimam.org for educational purposes. However, many of these answers are unique to a particular scenario and cannot be taken as a basis to establish a ruling in another situation or another environment. Askimam.org bears no responsibility with regards to these questions being used out of their intended context.
  • The Shar's ruling herein given is based specifically on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question.
  • AskImam.org bears no responsibility to any party who may or may not act on this answer and is being hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused.
  • This answer may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of AskImam.org.
  • Any or all links provided in our emails, answers and articles are restricted to the specific material being cited. Such referencing should not be taken as an endorsement of other contents of that website.