Category: Divorce (Talaaq)
Fatwa#: 33015
Asked Country: United States

Answered Date: Jan 11,2019

Title: Permissible to refuse reconciliation with husband after divorce

Question

Salaam

Im a 33yr old woman who had her Nikah/rukshati done on July 15, 2013 in FL USA, to a man I knew for 5yrs. When I moved in with my husband to VA, a few months later he married another woman in DC Oct 21,13, whom he was also planning to marry for the past 8yrs, he had a Nikah done with her but no Rukhshati still as of today.

 

I left my husband as soon as I found out he remarried, his second wife asked him to divorce me but when he was about to I found out I was pregnant so he kept presurring me for an abortion so he could start his life w his new wife, I refused too and went back to my parents home in FL to have the baby. The baby is now 9 months old mA, and I am still living at my parents home because his new wife said I am not allowed to move in with her husband, even though she still resides at her parents with no rukshati, my husband said he has not consummated his marriage w her still and wants to be with me now for the sake of the baby. his wife contacts me occasionally to try to hurt me by saying how he hates me and the baby and we are dirty people. She said she stops by his apt to make sure I am not there.

On Feb 28, 15 he issued me one talaaq at the Masjid infront of the Imam and witnesses. now he says he wants to reconcile w me for the babys sake. he keeps going back n forth in his decisions and im tired of it. am I allowed to refuse reconcilation because of this sick game he keeps playing? He tells his second wife he hates me and the baby and will never accept us, but than he tells me he doesnt like his second wife and wants to be with me and the baby. Hes wasted almost 2 1/2 yrs with this game.

Answer

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

Sister in Islaam,

We sympathize with you in your unfortunate predicament. Your husband’s attitude and behavior is unfortunate. However, it was incorrect for you to initially leave your husband. You should have attempted to come to terms with him through mutual agreement.

Nevertheless, a husband has the right of reconciliation only within the ’iddah period after the first and second revocable (raj’ee) divorces, irrespective of whether the wife wishes to reconcile or not[1]. However, once the ‘iddah period is over, the nikaah terminates completely; the wife’s consent along with a renewal of the nikaah contract will be necessary for reconciliation.

In the enquired situation, if the ‘iddah period has terminated, then you have the full right to refuse his request for reconciliation. You may also consider the reconciliation in the interest of the child. However, your husband needs to inform the other wife that he is reconciling with you and she should respect you and not to interfere in the marriage. If he does this and assures you of a committed marriage, then you should consider reconciliation. You too should respect his other marriage and do not interfere if he is fulfilling your marital obligations.

Reflect upon the following Hadith of Rasulullaah (Sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam):

لا تسأل المرأة طلاق أختها لتستفرغ صحفتها، ولتنكح، فإن لها ما قدر لها

Translation: “It is not permissible for a woman to demand her sister’s (co-wife’s) divorce so that she may take her place and get married; she will have only that which was decreed for her.” (Bukhaari 6600)

 

And Allaah Ta’aala Knows Best.

Muajul I. Chowdhury

Student, Darul Iftaa

Astoria, New York, USA

 

Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 

 


[1] مختصر القدوري (ص: 159)

إذا طلق الرجل امرأته تطليقة رجعية أو تطليقتين فله أن يراجعها في عدتها رضيت بذلك أو لم ترض والرجعة أن يقول: راجعتك أو راجعت امرأتي أو يطأها أو يقبلها أو يلمسها شهوة أو ينظر إلى فرجها بشهوة

 

الهداية في شرح بداية المبتدي (2/ 254)

" وإذا طلق الرجل امرأته تطليقة رجعية أو تطليقتين فله أن يراجعها في عدتها رضيت بذلك أو لم ترض " لقوله تعالى: {فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ} [البقرة: 231] من غير فصل ولا بد من قيام العدة لأن الرجعة استدامة الملك ألا ترى أنه سمى إمساكا وهو الإبقاء وإنما يتحقق الاستدامة في العدة لأنه لا ملك بعد انقضائها " والرجعة أن يقول راجعتك أو راجعت امرأتي " وهذا صريح في الرجعة ولا خلاف فيه بين الأئمة.

قال: " أو يطأها أو يقبلها أو يلمسها بشهوة أو بنظر إلى فرجها بشهوة " وهذا عندنا وقال الشافعي رحمه الله لا تصح الرجعة إلا بالقول مع القدرة عليه لأن الرجعة بمنزلة ابتداء النكاح حتى يحرم وطؤها وعندنا هو استدامة النكاح على ما بيناه وسنقرره إن شاء الله والفعل قد يقع دلالة على الاستدامة كما في إسقاط الخيار والدلالة فعل يختص بالنكاح وهذه الأفاعيل تختص به خصوصا في حق الحرة بخلاف المس والنظر بغير شهوة لأنه قد يحل بدون النكاح كما في القابلة والطبيب وغيرهما والنظر إلى غير الفرج قد يقع بين المساكنين والزوج يساكنها في العدة فلو كان رجعة لطلقها فتطول العدة عليها.

 

لسان الحكام في معرفة الأدكام (ص: 328)

نوع في الرجعة إذا طلق الرجل امرأته تطليقة رجعية أو تطليقتين فله أن يراجعها في عدتها رضيت بذلك أو لم ترض لقوه تعالى {فأمسكوهن بمعروف} الآية من غير فصل ولا بد من قيام العدة لأن الرجعة استدامة الملك

والرجعة أن يقول راجعتك أو راجعت امرأتي وهو صريح في الرجعة ولا خلاف فيه بين الأمة أو يطأها أو يقبلها أو يمسها بشهوة أو ينظر إلى فرجها بشهوة وهذا عندنا وقال الشافعي رحمه الله لا تصح الرجعة إلا بالقول مع القدرة عليه ويستحب أن يشهد على الرجعة شاهدين وإن لم يشهد صحت الرجعة وإذا انقضت العدة فقال قد كنت راجعتك في العدة فصدقته فهي رجعة وإن كذبته فالقول قولها وإذا قال الزوج راجعتك فقالت مجيبة له قد انقضت عدتي لم تصح الرجعة عند أبي حنيفة وقالا تصح الرجعة

والمطلقة الرجعية تتشوف أي تتزين بأن تجلو وجهها وتصقل خديها لأنها حلال للزوج إ ذالنكاح قائم بينهما ويستحب للزوج أن لا يدخل عليها حتى يؤذنها أو يسمعها خفق نعليه وليس له أن يسافر بها حتى يشهد على رجعتها والطلاق الرجعي لا يحرم الوطء وقال الشافعي رحمه الله يحرمه اه

وإذا كان الطلاق بائنا دون الثلاث فله أن يتزوجها في العدة وبعد انقضائها لأن حل المحلية باق وإن كان الطلاق ثلاثا في الحرة أو ثنتين في الأمة لم تحل له حتى تنكح زوجا غيره نكاحا صحيحا ويدخل بها ثم يطلقها أو يموت عنها والشرط الايلاج دون الإنزال

 

 

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