Category: Marriage (Nikah)
Fatwa#: 29221
Asked Country: United Kingdom

Answered Date: Jan 27,2019

Title: 'I can’t carry on like this anymore' 'I am finished with her'

Question

Salam,

A few months ago my wife had been giving me a real hard time and walked out  and left the home after an arguememt with my mum. She stayed at her mothers house. She has walked out before and I was so frustrated for weeks whenever somebody would ask me I would say 'I cant carry on like this anymore' 'I am finished with her' I was really frustrated at the time by the way she treated me.

Me and my wife never talked for a whole month. 

We have now sorted things out and are back together. I am regretful of what I said as I was upset and my family would remind me of how she treated me and I would get even more emotional about it. I just have doubts that by me saying them things I might have divorced my wife even though my intention was to just let go of my frustration as I was really really fed up. I have a doubt because I said it a  few times when my uncle and aunties asked me about what happened as they were told by my mum.

 

Also my wife has had the contraceptive injection which has a side affect of abmormal periods and at the time all this was happening she wasnt sure if she was on her period as the bleeding would last for many weeks sometimes and after asking her she cant give me a definite answer she is always in doubt wether she was or she wasnt at the time because she was bleeding. I am so confused and I dont want to be punished if I am wrong. Please let me know 

Answer

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

In principle, words that result in divorce are of two types:  

1)      Sareeh- plain and clear words of divorce; this type constitutes divorce, irrespective of one’s intention.

2)      Kinaayah- ambiguous and allusive words which may imply divorce; this type constitutes divorce only if the husband intended divorce[1].

In the enquired situations, you state that your intention was to let go of your frustration when you said, “I can’t carry on like this anymore” “I am finished with her”. Accordingly, if you did not intend divorce with those statements, then your statements did not constitute divorce. Your marriage is intact.

 

And Allaah Ta’aala Knows Best.

Muajul I. Chowdhury

Student, Darul Iftaa

Astoria, New York, USA

 

Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 

 


[1]  كنز الدقائق (2/ 355)

باب الكنايات لا تطلق بها إلا بنيته، أو دلالة الحال

 

الهداية في شرح بداية المبتدي (1/ 235)

" وأما الضرب الثاني وهو الكنايات لا يقع بها الطلاق إلا بالنية أو بدلالة الحال " لأنها غير موضوعة للطلاق بل تحتمله وغيره فلا بد من التعيين أو دلالته

 

الدر المختار (3/ 296)

باب الكنايات (كنايته) عند الفقهاء (ما لم يوضع له) أي الطلاق (واحتمله) وغيره (ف) الكنايات (لا تطلق بها) قضاء (إلا بنية أو دلالة الحال) وهي حالة مذاكرة الطلاق أو الغضب

 

الفتاوى الهندية (8/ 316)

( الفصل الخامس في الكنايات ) لا يقع بها الطلاق إلا بالنية أو بدلالة حال كذا في الجوهرة النيرة .ثم الكنايات ثلاثة أقسام ( ما يصلح جوابا لا غير ) أمرك بيدك ، اختاري ، اعتدي ( وما يصلح جوابا وردا لا غير ) اخرجي اذهبي اعزبي قومي تقنعي استتري تخمري ( وما يصلح جوابا وشتما ) خلية برية بتة بتلة بائن حرام والأحوال ثلاثة (حالة) الرضا ( وحالة ) مذاكرة الطلاق بأن تسأل هي طلاقها أو غيرها يسأل طلاقها ( وحالة ) الغضب ففي حالة الرضا لا يقع الطلاق في الألفاظ كلها إلا بالنية والقول قول الزوج في ترك النية مع اليمين وفي حالة مذاكرة الطلاق يقع الطلاق في سائر الأقسام قضاء إلا فيما يصلح جوابا وردا فإنه لا يجعل طلاقا كذا في الكافي

 

 

 

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