Fatwa: # 27857
Category: Divorce (Talaaq)
Country: United Kingdom
Date: 28th January 2019

Title

Wishing to divorce wife but afraid of blackmailing from parents

Question

as salaam alaykum shaykhs, i have an issue which is causing me great stress and making my life a misery. i have been married for almost 6 years and have 2 daughters with my wife. in the last 4 years the marrige has been nothing but a misery and has caused myself and my wife great stress. i have ruined my akhira by certain acts i have comitted during marrige due to frustration and unhappiness. i do not want to continue committing these extra marital sins, i have tod my parents i want to divorce my wife and my wife is aware of this also, but my wife wont divorce me for reputation purposes and my parents threaten to diosown me if i do get divorced. the end result of this is that im going mental and living a miserable life, ruining my akhira and ooking older than i am due to streess. i have tried everything to make the marrige work but it dont work. my sex life is really bad, i tried to teach my wife communication skills which failed. i wake up suicidal and angry, i used to go with jamaat and do dawah pray my salah etc, but now im not better than a kaffir. what can i do? how can i get divorced and are my parents opressing me by black mailing me?

Answer

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

Brother in Islaam,

We take note of the contents of your query. We sympathize with you and make du’aa that Allaah Ta’aala grants you the ability to overcome this predicament.

You state you have been married for six years and the last four years have been a misery. What is it that has caused this misery? Discuss the issue with your wife and see what can be done to save the marriage. Consider the negative effects of the divorce on your young daughters in case of divorce. If you wish to remarry to save yourself extra-marital affairs, then there is no need to divorce your wife. Shari’ah permits you to marry four wives at once. You should also consider the negative consequences of remarrying and the challenges that come along with that, especially in view of you being a father of two daughters.

It should not be that you act impulsively and put yourself in deeper waters. Your parents rebuke and their opposition to you in probably based on your best interest. If you are compelled, make istikhaarah and seek guidance of Allaah Ta’aala. Never make a big decision without seeking the guidance of Allaah Ta’aala.

We understand from your query that the cause your misery is the intimacy and communication. You should consider seeking counsel from an expert on the two issues you refer to.

 

And Allaah Ta’aala Knows Best.

Muajul I. Chowdhury

Student, Darul Iftaa

Astoria, New York, USA

 

Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

DISCLAIMER - AskImam.org questions
AskImam.org answers issues pertaining to Shar'ah. Thereafter, these questions and answers are placed for public view on www.askimam.org for educational purposes. However, many of these answers are unique to a particular scenario and cannot be taken as a basis to establish a ruling in another situation or another environment. Askimam.org bears no responsibility with regards to these questions being used out of their intended context.
  • The Shar's ruling herein given is based specifically on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question.
  • AskImam.org bears no responsibility to any party who may or may not act on this answer and is being hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused.
  • This answer may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of AskImam.org.
  • Any or all links provided in our emails, answers and articles are restricted to the specific material being cited. Such referencing should not be taken as an endorsement of other contents of that website.
The Messenger of Allah said, "When Allah wishes good for someone, He bestows upon him the understanding of Deen."
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]