Fatwa: # 25215
Category: Marriage (Nikah)
Country: United Kingdom
Date: 24th May 2020

Title

I am unable to get married for the past 7 years. What should I do?

Question

I am a 33 yr old female and my family and I have been searching for a suitable husband for almost 7 years now.  I feel that we are searching for the right characteristics in a person, i.e a God fearing decent individual.  However, whenever I seem to meet someone i think will be right for me initially it goes well but somehow they lose interest and it does not progress (without any significant reasons/issues).  

 

I understand that all things are by Allah's Qadr and I do make dua although I know i need to pray more regularly, besides this I am not sure what I am doing wrong.  My question is that as marriage is preordained for everyone, could it be that it can be delayed due to my own errors/mistakes/lack of understanding of men etc that may put men off from marrying me?  Or is marriage a fixed event independent of my actions?  I am just worried that the problem of not getting married may lie with me.  

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

We are saddened to hear your situation of not being able to marry. We do not know the reason of you not being able to marry.

However, it is possible that you may be too picky with the person who proposes to you. We may be wrong in this. Nevertheless, nobody in this world is perfect. Every person has deficiencies and faults. You cannot expect to get married to an angel. Marriage is all about the spouses compromising with one another and living together with love and harmony. Marriage is a lifetime commitment to one another in which both the spouses will have to overlook the faults of the other. If you find a person who is generally good in Akhlaaq and piety, do not waste any time in getting married to him. You may lose a golden opportunity.  The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam once said to Ali Radiallahu Anhu:

يَا عَلِيُّ، ثَلَاثٌ لَا تُؤَخِّرْهَا: الصَّلَاةُ إِذَا آنَتْ، وَالجَنَازَةُ إِذَا حَضَرَتْ، وَالأَيِّمُ إِذَا وَجَدْتَ لَهَا كُفْئًا

“O Ali! Do not delay in three matters; Salah, when the Azan has been called. Funeral, when a person has died. Marriage, when one finds a suitable partner.”[1]

 

Put aside all the faults a person may have in him. Look at all the good that may be within him. In most cases, men mature with the experiences of marriage. Once you have found a suitable partner for yourself, continue making Istikharah and Duaa to Allah to put Khair and Barakah in your marriage. After performing Istikharah, Allah will place a feeling of inclination in your heart towards the right direction. We make Dua to Allah to grant you a pious, loving and caring husband Ameen.

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Abdul Hannan Nizami,
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 



[1] (سنن الترمذي، ج1ص320، شركة مكتبة)

(Sunan At-Tirmidhi, V.1 Pg.320, Shirkah Maktabah)

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