I have been with this man for 5 years, something keeps
bringing me and him back together. His mother gave his rishta in Pakistan for
him to marry her niece. She gave her word of mouth without asking him and she
knows he is not happy with this alliance, He is being emotionally black mailed
and we both want to get married but families wont agree. What can we do to stop this
pakistan marriage and make our parents agree to us getting married before it is
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Your relationship with the man in reference commenced on the wrong footing as it was a Haram relationship. You are now challenged with salvaging a losing relationship. This is the nature of every Haram act. There is no Barakah in any Haram act. Instead of following your emotions and dreams, now face reality and do the correct thing. Fear Allah and cut of all ties with the man in reference. There will be withdrawal symptoms in you as you put your heart in the wrong place. To take the heart our will be difficult, however in doing so, you will have your heart back which can be rehabilitated. If you do not do this, your heart will be lost in the wrong place and eventually die. You do not deserve that. Discuss the issue with your parents and seek their wise counsel. If the man in reference was genuine and honest, he would have told his parents about his intention to marry you. He would be firm and resolute in wanting you. He is an adult with his own mind. He should not submit to his parents simply getting him married in Pakistan and he would not agree. If he agrees against his choice, then what is the point of wanting such a person in your life? Such an attitude would only bring grief and misery in your life.
Sister, respect yourself and maintain your dignity. Come out of this Haram relationship. Do not pursue baseless expectations. Your Taqdeer is not sleeping. Allah is there for you. Turn to Him and make Dua. If somebody wants you as his wife, let him approach you or your family with respect and follow the correct procedure in Shari’ah. In following Shari’ah, you will be at ease as you know that you are doing what Allah wants you to do. Allah will not leave you alone.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.