As Salaamu Alaikum,
There is a situation in my family, where my uncle has left my aunt due to his incompetence. They have been married for about 30 years, but he has never treated her well and has always been in and out of her life. But nonetheless the reason for this particular conflict is that he wants his eldest daughter to divorce the son-in-law (the very guy that he choose her to marry but now no longer getting along with the family and the guy due to some issues; but his daughter is doing well and does not want to divorce her husband)-which is totally senseless. Furthermore, my uncle has put an ultimatum that if she does not leave her husband; he will divorce my aunt. We had tried talking sense into him over the year, but this has not worked and he finally decided to move out around Oct 15ish 2012(I don’t have an exact date). Since then he has only talk once, on Eid, he communicates with his other and children and will relay messages though them to her but he has not communicated with her since then, he has also not provided any financial support in this time period. He has not officially said his talaq three times and the aunt does not want to give him a divorce even though she is really frustrated with him is enduring health problems due to the stress - fearing the cultural stigma and backlash relating to this action (also because we don’t fully understand how a woman is able to islamically divorce her husband). We have also been told that if a husband does not willingly communicate with his wife for a specific duration- there is an “automatic divorce” put into place. Is this true? If so can you elaborate? Also I am not sure if this is a fair question- but can you provide advice on how she should/can move forward islamically?
Jazakallah for taking the time in reviewing and answering my questions
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
If your uncle got a problem with his son in law, that has nothing to do with his daughters marriage. Why should his problem with his son in law break her marriage? It is the height of pride and arrogance and vengeance for the father to use his own daughter’s marriage against his son in law. In his desperation of vengeance he even wants to break his own marriage. Such a person is no more than a ball of emotions and is plainly stupid.
According to Shari’ah, a female does not have the right to divorce. Therefore his daughter cannot divorce her husband and neither can his wife divorce him. Your uncle should contain himself to avoid falling down a deep cliff of grief and agony. Help him to understand the consequences of his behavior and give him the necessary support to make the right decision. Your aunt cannot issue him divorce. She may request him to issue a divorce if there is not scope of reconciliation. For that, one Talaq is sufficient. There is no need to issue 3 Talaqs. Should there be a change of heart and mind in the future, there is a scope of reconciliation through a fresh Nikah.
And Allah knows Best;
Mufti Ebrahim Desai