Category: Marriage (Nikah)
Fatwa#: 22140
Asked Country: Pakistan

Answered Date: Feb 11,2019

Title: How should one spend his first night of marriage?

Question

Sir if we do marriage. After the marriage on first night, if we don’t do sex with wife on first night then why it is haram? Give me solution and give me information about first night? Is it necessary to do sex with wife on first or second night?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

As-salaamu `alaykum wa-ramatullahi wa-barakatuh.

It is not necessary to have intercourse with the wife on the first night of marriage. If one did not have intercourse in the first night of marriage, the wife does not become haram on the husband.

It should also be noted that if the wife is experiencing menses, it is not permissible to have intercourse with her even if it is the first night of marriage.

 

The Jamiatul Ulama KZN has prepared an article on how to spend ones first night of marriage, which is as follows:

 

Here are 4 practical Islamic guidelines for what you can do as a couple on your first night of Nikah:

1. Give a gift

The Prophet ﷺ said: “Exchange gifts, as that will lead to increasing your love to one another.” [Al-Bukhari].

Regarding the first night of marriage, there is no stipulated gift – it could involve anything permissible, big or small, according to one’s means.

A husband could also offer his wife something to drink as is found in the hadith narrated by Asmaa’ bint Yazid ibn As-Sakan who said: “I beautified ‘As’ishah for Allaah’s Messenger, then called him to come to see her unveiled. He came, sat next to her, and brought a large cup of milk from which he drank. Then, he offered it to ‘Aa’ishah, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I scolded her and said to her: “Take from the hand of the Prophet.” She then took it and drank some. Then, the Prophet said to her, “Give some to your companion.” At that point, I said: “O Messenger of Allaah, rather take it yourself and drink, and then give it to me from your hand.” He took it, drank some, and then offered it to me. I sat down and put it on my kness. Then, I began rotating it and following it with my lips in order that I might hit the spot from which the Prophet had drunk.” [Musnad Ahmad]

2. Read Salaah together

 

It is desirable for the husband and wife to pray 2 rakaat together on their wedding night. This has been narrated from the earliest generation of Muslims:

‘When your wife comes to you, pray 2 rakaat. Then, ask Allaah for the good of that which has come to you, and seek refuge in Him from its evil. Then it is up to you and it is up to your wife.’” [Musannaf abi Shaiba]

It is also narrated on the authority of Shaqeeq who said: “A man named Abu Hareez came and said: ‘I have married a young girl, and I am afraid that she will despise me.’ ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood said to him: “Verily, closeness is from Allaah, and hatred is from Shaitaan, who wishes to make despicable that which Allaah has allowed. So, when your wife comes to you, tell her to pray behind you 2 rakaat.’”  [Ref: Ibn Abi Shaibah and at-Tabaraani and ‘Abdur-Razzaaq: Saheeh]

3. Sprinkle the water of love and make Dua for each other

On the first night of marriage, when in seclusion with one’s wife, hold the forelocks (hair of the forehead) of her head, sprinkle water upon her and recite the following Du’aa:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ خَيْرَهَا وَخَيْرَ مَا جَبَلْتَهَا عَلَيْهِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّهَا وَمِنْ شَرِّ مَا جَبَلْتَهَا عَلَيْهِ

(O Allaah, I ask You for the goodness within her and the goodness that You have made her inclined towards, and I take refuge with You from the evil within her and the evil that You have made her inclined towards) [Bukhari/abu Dawood]

The wife should also make dua for her husband, just adapting the wording of the Dua above:

Allahumma inni asaluka khairahu wa khaira ma jabaltahu alayh; wa a’oothu bika min shari-hee wa shari ma jabaltahu alayh

 

Besides this stipulated Dua, one can make any other Duas from the heart and also include Quraanic Duas for marital bliss such as:

 

4. Seek the protection of Allah SWT from shaytaan

If the couple decide to get intimate, the couple should recite the following before involving themselves in relations:

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ اللَّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ وَجَنِّبْ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا

In the name of Allah, O Allah, distance shaytaan from us and distance shaytaan from that which you grant us. [Bukhari][1]

And Allah Ta`ala Knows Best.

Hussein Muhammad.

Student Darul Iftaa

Arusha, Tanzania

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 


[1]

https://jamiat.org.za/what-to-do-on-your-first-night-of-marriage/

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