I am married and I have a baby girl. My wife also loves me a lot and she also attends to my parents. Last week I caught my wife having an affair with her ex colleague. She also agrees that she likes her as a friend and having relating as a friend but she loves me a lot. When I told her I want to leave her she begged me and promise by putting her hand on the holy Quran (Quran ki kasam) that she will not repeat this again in her life and want to excuse her as her first and last mistake.
I am confused mufti sahab, I also love her more than my life and I can’t even live without her but she has broken my trust and how can I trust her in future and live with her? Still I didn’t take any decisions because I have a baby I am thinking about the future of my baby?
Mufti saheb Please guide me what to do- shall I excuse her or should I send her to her parents?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We are sorry to hear about your recent episode.
Brother, indeed trust is a key ingredient to a successful marriage. Both spouses should be over and above any traits which taint faithfulness to marriage. Speaking to the opposite gender unnecessarily is wrong and can potentially lead one to being accused. Your wife should refrain from all contact with men and adopt strict pardah.
If you feel that this was an isolated case of mistrust and she is sincerely regretful and resolute on never perpetrating this sin again then you should give her another chance. Encourage your wife with virtues of maintaining a lifestyle of pardah. Her value and worth demands she conceal herself from all besides her Mahrams(non-marriageable kin) She should have a strong desire that non-mahram men never have the chance of seeing or speaking to her.
The environment at home in terms of Deen should also be addressed. You should create an environment which propels everyone to live a life of Allah consciousness. This could be done through conducting Ta’lim on a daily basis, participating in educational programs for women and introducing Islamic literature. You may also advise your wife to follow our new website, “The ideal woman” dedicated for spiritual upliftment of women. The site will be launched soon.
We make Dua Allah Ta’ālā allows you and your wife to live in conformity with the beautiful laws of Shari’ah.
Mawlana Ali bin Cassim
Student Darul Iftaa
Los Angeles, CA (USA)
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.