Fatwa: # 19510
Category: Character & Morals
Country: United States
Date: 26th October 2011

Title

Is it a requirement to live with in-laws?

Question

Is it a requirement to live with in-laws? My husband and I are from different cultures, we are being confronted with the possibility of his sister and her new husband living with us. I do not want them to move in because I may be confronted at times with the situation of being alone with him. I am very concerned because I do not want to live in such a situation. Please give advice as to what to do.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Firstly, it is critical to point out that a general ruling cannot be given on such issues. Every case has to be analysed independently.

With regards to this particular case, it is the duty of your husband to ensure that you have adequate privacy. Having a situation wherein you would be alone with your sister-in-law’s husband is not permissible.

Umar رضي الله عنه narrates that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “A man is never alone with a women except that the devil is the third one with them”.

 

وَعَنْ عُمَرَ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «لَا يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ إِلَّا كَانَ ثالثهما الشَّيْطَان» . رَوَاهُ التِّرْمِذِيّ

 

Since your husband can afford to provide you with a separate accommodation you would have the right to demand for it.[1] Furthermore, the probability of being alone with your sister-in-law’s husband is an additional reason that sharing one house is not suitable.[2]

Although you do have the right to demand a separate house in this case, we would advise you to react in a wise and calm manner. Explain to your husband that you are uncomfortable with the idea of your sister-in-law coming with her husband to stay; rather they should look for their own apartment so that you can have maximum privacy.

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mawlana Mohammed Patel
Student Darul Ifta
Zambia.

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net

 



[1]  فتاوى محمودية ( ص 133 / ج 20 / مكتبة محمودية )

(قَوْلُهُ يُعْتَبَرُ ذَلِكَ بِحَالِهِمَا جَمِيعًا مُوسِرًا كَانَ الزَّوْجُ أَوْ مُعْسِرًا) هَذَا اخْتِيَارُ الْخَصَّافِ وَعَلَيْهِ الْفَتْوَى وَتَفْسِيرُهُ إذَا كَانَا مُوسِرَيْنِ تَجِبُ نَفَقَةُ الْيَسَارِ وَإِنْ كَانَا مُعْسِرَيْنِ فَنَفَقَةُ الْإِعْسَارِ وَإِنْ كَانَتْ كَرُهَا وَهُوَ مُوسِرٌ فَدُونَ نَفَقَةِ الْمُوسِرَاتِ وَفَوْقَ نَفَقَةِ أَسْلَفَهَا وَإِنْ كَانَ مُعْسِرًا، وَهِيَ مُوسِرَةٌ فَنَفَقَةُ الْإِعْسَارِ لِقَوْلِهِ تَعَالَى {لِيُنْفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِنْ سَعَتِهِ} [الطلاق: 7] ( الجوهرة النيرة ( ص 84 / ج 2 / المطبعة الخيرية ) )

[2]  قَالَ الشَّيْخُ خَيْرُ الدِّينِ الرَّمْلِيُّ فِي حَاشِيَةِ الْمِنَحِ أَقُولُ كَلَامُ الْبَزَّازِيَّةِ فِي شَيْءٍ وَالْخَانِيَّةُ فِي غَيْرِهِ فَهُمَا فَرْعَانِ فَفَرْعُ الْخَانِيَّةِ فِيمَا إذَا كَانَ فِي الدَّارِ أَحَدٌ مِنْ أَحْمَاءِ الزَّوْجِ يُؤْذِيهَا وَفَرْعُ الْبَزَّازِيَّةِ فِيمَا إذَا كَانَ فِي الْبَيْتِ أَحَدٌ مِنْهُمْ مُطْلَقًا إذْ الْمُرَادُ بِالْأَذِيَّةِ الْأَذِيَّةُ بِالْقَوْلِ وَالْفِعْلِ كَمَا هُوَ ظَاهِرٌ فَإِذَا أَخْلَى لَهَا بَيْتًا لَهُ غَلَقٌ مِنْ دَارٍ فِيهَا أَحْمَاؤُهَا وَلَا يَضُرُّونَهَا بِقَوْلٍ أَوْ فِعْلٍ فَلَيْسَ لَهَا طَلَبُ غَيْرِهِ وَإِنْ آذَوْهَا لَهَا طَلَبُ غَيْرِهِ وَهَذَا مَعْنَى مَا قَالَهُ فِي الْخَانِيَّةِ بِخِلَافِ الْبَيْتِ إذَا كَانَ فِيهِ أَحَدٌ مِنْهُمْ فَإِنَّ لَهَا طَلَبَ غَيْرِهِ وَإِنْ لَمْ يُؤْذُوهَا بِقَوْلٍ أَوْ فِعْلٍ فَمَا فَهِمَهُ صَاحِبُ الْبَحْرِ صَحِيحٌ فِي مَحَلِّهِ وَهَذَا هُوَ الظَّاهِرُ فَلَا حَاجَةَ إلَى قَوْلِهِ لَكِنْ يَنْبَغِي فَتَأَمَّلْ. اهـ

(أَقُولُ) وَحَاصِلُهُ أَنَّهُ لَوْ كَانَ فِي الدَّارِ ضَرَّةٌ أَوْ أَحَدٌ مِنْ أَقَارِبِ الزَّوْجِ يُؤْذِيهَا لَمْ يَكْفِ بَيْتٌ مِنْهَا لَهُ غَلَقٌ وَمَرَافِقُ وَإِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ أَحَدٌ يُؤْذِيهَا كَفَى وَلَوْ كَانَ فِي نَفْسِ الْبَيْتِ أَحَدٌ لَمْ يَكْفِ مُطْلَقًا هَذَا وَفِي الْبَحْرِ. وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ الْمَسْكَنَ أَيْضًا لَا بُدَّ أَنْ يَكُونَ بِقَدْرِ حَالِهِمَا كَمَا فِي الطَّعَامِ وَالْكِسْوَةِ فَلَيْسَ مَسْكَنُ الْأَغْنِيَاءِ كَمَسْكَنِ الْفُقَرَاءِ فَقَوْلُهُمْ يُعْتَبَرُ فِي النَّفَقَةِ حَالُهُمَا يَشْمَلُ الثَّلَاثَةَ لِمَا فِي الْخُلَاصَةِ أَنَّ النَّفَقَةَ إذَا أُطْلِقَتْ تَنْصَرِفُ إلَى الطَّعَامِ وَالْكِسْوَةِ وَالسُّكْنَى اهـ مُلَخَّصًا وَنَحْوُهُ فِي النَّهْرِ فَتَنَبَّهْ لِذَلِكَ. ( العقود الدرية في تنقيح الفتاوى الحامدية ( ص 143 / ج 1 / دار الكتب العلمية ) )

فَعَلَى الْمُفْتِي أَنْ يَنْظُرَ إلَى حَالِ أَهْلِ زَمَانِهِ وَبَلَدِهِ، إذْ بِدُونِ ذَلِكَ لَا تَحْصُلُ الْمُعَاشَرَةُ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ، وَقَدْ قَالَ تَعَالَى - {وَلا تُضَارُّوهُنَّ لِتُضَيِّقُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ} [الطلاق: 6]-. ( رد المحتار ( ص 602 / ج 3 / ايج ايم سعيد ) )

 

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