Fatwa: # 19360
Category: Character & Morals
Country: India
Date: 7th July 2011

Title

What should I do know? I really love her madly I am not able to forget her

Question

I am a 25 muslim boy in love with a 22 year hindu girl for past 3 years. We love each other a lot. When we proposed each other I clearly mentioned her that if this relationship needs to continue then you need to be ready to convert to Islam as well as you need to know and follow all the islamic rules.

She agreed and almost trying her level best to learn Islam. Alhamdulillaha I do my regular prayers. We were so sure that we will get married soon after I get a job, we committed zina for about 7-8 times.

Everything was going fine untill there parents came to know about our affair. Once we got our college holidays for around 20 days she went to her home and came back afterwards. During this time I came to know that she got engaged. She started to avoiding me badly and her phone is always engaged like never before. I asked her about this issue she said nothing is there like that as I am thinking, but I know that she is talking to the person whom she is engaged with.

I got very angry and even after asking for several times she was ignoring the fact that she is engaged, I begged her that you cannot do like this to me and also remembered her that we committed zina for several times, the solution for our sin is that she needs to get converted into islam and lets get married as soon as possible. Then she said that now she is not ready to leave her parents and come along with me. I tried a lot to convince her but she remains on her word that would not come from her home and will not marry me. She tells me that I started to doubt her and because of that she doesn’t want to come along with me now. I tried convincing her again and again that we committed zina and we cannot leave each other like this. She said that that zina is not at a big matter for me. I got so angry that I slapped her on her face hardly twice.

From then onwards she is not at all talking to me anymore. Later I came to know that actually she didn't got engaged but proposal was there in her home about her engagement. She was talking to her friends that what to do in this situation. She really loves me and doesn’t want to hurt me, because she knows if get to know that she is getting engaged I feel very tense. I misunderstood her very badly, then I realized her and asked apology for hundreds of times, I cried, I begged not to leave me like for my misunderstanding. In the mean time as she was angry she went to her home, this time the person with whom her engagement proposal was going on she got engaged to that person because of her parents pressure.

She feels that because of me she was forced to get married whom she doesn’t like at all. Now when I asked her she says this is it. Leave me, you don’t have any faith on me, now only you are like this then how can I trust u for future where I even wont have my parents to support me if something goes wrong.

What should I do know? I really love her madly I am not able to forget her, I am feeling very guilty about what I have done with her (zina), I repented to Allah many time from the core of my heart.

What should I do now?

What shariya says about this?

Should I leave her? But I really love her madly, I know that I cannot live without her.

I dont want to live her as she was willing to convert to islam before I slaped

Answer

Assalāmu `alaikum Warahmatullāhi Wabrakatuh,

Jazakallah for writing to us. Brother, I have a few suggestions for you.

Forget about this girl and what you did with her. You admit that you committed zinna and that you did wrong. Don’t go on trying to compound the problem by forcing yourself on a woman who does not want you. You are not allowed to marry a Hindu woman. You have even gone to the level of hitting her besides constantly begging her to marry you. You risk losing your self-respect.

Instead, turn to Allah Ta’ala and make sincere tawbah. Cry tears like you have never cried before. Promise Allah Ta’ala that you will never commit zinna again and make affirm intention that you will keep this promise. Do not commit zinna of the eyes, ears, heart and body ever again. Let your heart fill with the love and fear of Allah Ta’ala.

Promise Him that you will never touch another woman before marriage. Beg Him to guide you to the straight path, to make you steadfast on salaah and totally obedient to His commandments.

Fill your life with the grace and beauty of the wonderful gift of imaan. Learn to trust Allah Ta’ala in every decision you make. Accept that Allah Ta’ala loves you and will grant you that which is good for you and your imaan. He will also protect you from that which is harmful to you and your imaan.  Therefore turn your attention and life towards Him so that you can be successful in this world and the hereafter. Life in this world is temporary and it is not worth it to throw your aagirah away for the temporary life with a woman who does not want you.

May Allah Ta’ala guide you to make the correct decision, ameen.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Sister Fadila,
B.A. (Sociology & Psychology) Unisa.
Social Work (NDP) Unisa.

 

Durban, South Africa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net

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