Fatwa: # 19145
Category: Character & Morals
Country: South Africa
Date: 24th January 2011

Title

Can parents show affection in front of their kids?

Question

Can and should a couple show affection in front of the kids?  This is the only relationship they know, and I think they should see the affection between mom and dad.

Answer

In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāh wa-barakātuh.


As part of the tarbiyah (proper upbringing) of a child, parents must teach their children about love, kindness, and affection.  The children will learn these characteristics when they see how their parents care for them, hug and kiss them, and always look out for their best interests.  Such actions towards the children will instill these noble characteristics in them, as well.

Furthermore, the children will also observe the love between their parents in the way that the couple behaves with gentleness and kindness towards each other.  It is not necessary for the parents to display physical acts of affection in front of the children.  Children are smart enough to recognize the love and affection between their parents without ever needing to see them engage in physical acts of affection. 

In fact, the parents should avoid displaying physical acts of affection, such as intimate hugging and kissing, in front of their children in order to instill the principles on hayā’ (modesty, shame) in them.  Rather, they should focus on their akhlāq (character) and behavior with each other, as well as with the children.


And Allāh knows best.

Muftī Abrar Mirza
Chicago, IL (USA)

Under the Supervision of Muftī Ebrahim Desai (South Africa)

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DISCLAIMER - AskImam.org questions
AskImam.org answers issues pertaining to Shar'ah. Thereafter, these questions and answers are placed for public view on www.askimam.org for educational purposes. However, many of these answers are unique to a particular scenario and cannot be taken as a basis to establish a ruling in another situation or another environment. Askimam.org bears no responsibility with regards to these questions being used out of their intended context.
  • The Shar's ruling herein given is based specifically on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question.
  • AskImam.org bears no responsibility to any party who may or may not act on this answer and is being hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused.
  • This answer may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of AskImam.org.
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