Fatwa: # 18450
Category: Character & Morals
Country: United States
Date: 25th January 2010


I am 16 years old. I dont listen to my ymum when she tells me to pray etc


im 16 years old. my mother is always telling me to pray but i never do. im always going out with my friends and not listening to her. i know what im doing is wrong and that i wont acomplish nothing in life without my mothers ridaa or gods rida but i just cant find the love for prayor or for reading quran or going to the masgid. i can do all of those things just because my mother tells me to and so that i can make her stop telling me to do it but i want to want to do it from within. in the end my question is what can i do to gain love for these things...


In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh


Hazrat ibn Abbas (Radhiyallahu ‘anhuma)  narrates from the Prophet  (sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) that a person whose parents are alive and he obeys them, listens to and respects them, then Allah Ta’ala will open two doors of paradise for him. But if one of his parents is not happy with him, then Allah Ta’ala will not be happy with him either. Then someone asked the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam), “Even if they are oppressors?” The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) replied, “Yes, even if they are oppressors.”   [Recorded in Sahih Muslim]


Ibn Majah reports on the authority of Sayyiduna Abu Umaamah (Radiallahu anhu) that someone asked the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam): “What rights do parents have on their children?” He said, “They both are your Paradise, or Hell.” It means that obeying and serving them takes one to Jannah and their disobedience and displeasure to Jahannum. Allah Ta’la mentions in Surah Bani Israil:


Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and do well to parents. If any one of them, or both of them reach old age, do not say to them: uff (a word or expression of anger or contempt) and do not scold them, and address them with respectful words, and submit yourself before them in humility out of compassion, and say, My Lord, be merciful to them as they have brought me up in my childhood. [17:23-24]

[Ma’ariful Qur’an Pg: 473]


The success of the entire humanity lies in obeying the commandments of Allah Ta’ala shown to us by His beloved Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). The first step towards success is confession to our noncompliance. This is vital and brings about humility in a person, making it easier to lead a better life. Alhamdulillah, you have realised your mistake and now choose to thread the path leading to Jannah. There are many aspects that need to be reflected upon. Firstly, obedience to parents is extremely important however, obedience to Allah Ta’ala supercedes this importance largely. Remember Allah Ta’ala Himself will reward any action done solely for His pleasure. Can there be any better being more rewarding than Allah Ta’ala? If a person does any good deed, this shows his desire to be close to his master and the closest a person can be to his creator is at the time of prostration (sajdah). Allah Ta’ala becomes so pleased with our good actions that our names are taken and boasted to the celestial creatures (angels).


Generally if we are asked to speak anything materialistic, our tongues would not give up but ask a person to speak about the hereafter or Jannah and Jahannam or even the greatness of Allah Ta’ala, automatically we are silenced. This is a clear sign as to how weak our faith is in Allah Ta’ala. If we desire Jannah and the happiness of Allah Ta’ala, it is imperative that we create the desire in our hearts to accomplish good actions no matter what scenario we face. Speak about the greatness of Allah Ta’ala and naturally our hearts will be filled with such Noor, immediately advancing us towards goodness and distancing us from evil.


Consider only one stern warning regarding missing a salaah and the inconvenience one would experience. If a person missed out a salaat, it will be wajib (compulsory) for him to make qaza of whatever he missed. This means no matter what, it has to be read. By making taubah, one is not excused from offering the qaza salaats. However, by making taubah, he is forgiven from the sin which he committed by missing out the salaats. Now if he does not make qaza of these salaats, the sin will return to him. If we think about this, wouldn’t it be better to perform the salaah. One of the first things to be reckoned for on the day of Qiyamah will be salaat. If this is correct then everything else will be correct and if this is incorrect, then a person will be from amongst the losers.


It is imperative to mention that the company we join and the environment surrounding us has the greatest impact on our social and spiritual life. Spend most of your time in the best place on this earth i.e. - the masjid and keep the company of the pious, slowly but surely, you will experience a new dimension to life.

We make dua that Allah Ta’ala guides us all and creates the true love and desire to do good actions essentially attaining His happiness.

And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best

Wassalāmu ῾alaykum 

Ml. Ebrahim Desai,
Student Dārul Iftā

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftāa

DISCLAIMER - AskImam.org questions
AskImam.org answers issues pertaining to Shar'ah. Thereafter, these questions and answers are placed for public view on www.askimam.org for educational purposes. However, many of these answers are unique to a particular scenario and cannot be taken as a basis to establish a ruling in another situation or another environment. Askimam.org bears no responsibility with regards to these questions being used out of their intended context.
  • The Shar's ruling herein given is based specifically on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question.
  • AskImam.org bears no responsibility to any party who may or may not act on this answer and is being hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused.
  • This answer may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of AskImam.org.
  • Any or all links provided in our emails, answers and articles are restricted to the specific material being cited. Such referencing should not be taken as an endorsement of other contents of that website.
The Messenger of Allah said, "When Allah wishes good for someone, He bestows upon him the understanding of Deen."
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]