Fatwa: # 18020
Category: Character & Morals
Country: South Africa
Date: 7th June 2009

Title

What if no one marries her because she is ugly? why is she being punished this way?

Question

My friend and I were eating and he said to me that such and such thing has alcohol. it did but I didn’t believe him and so i took some. now i feel really guilty. it was there to keep a sauce fresh and had a very small amount ( I think 0.02%. I heard that one who has drank alcohol will not be able to set foot in paradise. is this true? I am losing sleep over this..

Brother, you have mentioned over and over again that once its age to get married, one should do so. But what if she can’t find the suitable partner? She looking but she doesn’t have anyone and she is getting tired of looking. How is she supposed to keep herself satisfied when she is trying to find the partner but God is not giving her for wtv reason .

some ppl say that since you’re not getting married it’s because of your past sins and this is a punishment. I believe it’s a test for those that didn’t ask for marriage for married and those that are waiting for the right person, are left waiting. It’s very difficult for a woman in this day and age to find a decent man, most men have a religious outlook but when one gets to know them they see that they go for girls that do not look religious (without even donning the hijab) and then transform those women into religious girls………….second thing is, Islam emphasizes on a woman’s beauty. what if she feels ugly? the man is supposed to find a partner that is good looking to him in his eyes, but what if she is not pretty and she knows it and ends up with a man that is not attractive?

what if no one marries her because she is ugly? why is she being punished this way?

i also heard for those men and women, that are not married in this life, will have something special for them in jannah is this true? can you give me details about it. I find it x-extremely difficult to find the right partner these days, most men have become hypocrites and I also feel that I am suffering and being tested. I know women who have sinned, sins after sins, and they got what asked for. yet I see some other women, who are pious for real, yet are not able to find the right man.

As you always state that it is important for a man to get married as soon as he needs it, what if he/ she cannot find a match? what if there are no proposals? do u have any duas that can fix this problem? and last, I know patience is a prescription. but it is not easy to understand that one will just never get married for whatever reason sometimes ppl just feel hopeless.

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

 

Allow me to suggest that you make abundant istigfar for all your sins. There is no need to tell anyone about all the wrong you have done in your life.All you have to do is to make wudhu, preferably make nafl salaah & then sincerely repent before Allah Ta’ala. Allah Ta’ala is aware of all your sins so turn to Him with sincere regret & a firm intention never  to go back to the sins that you have committed. Make sure that you make istigfar every morning & evening, over a 100 times a day.

 

Also give sadqa to needy persons daily & ask Allah Ta’ala to forgive your sins. It is not important how much charity you give, your sincerity is important as charity is said to be an expiation of sins.

 

Likewise, put your full trust & hope in Allah Ta’ala regarding a marriage partner as it is only Allah Ta’ala’s plans that are the best for you.You will meet the match that Allah Ta’ala has written for you. In the meantime, do not give in to despair & do not judge others too harshly. Just as much as you fear that you may meet someone who is not sincere, you have to look towards what is in your heart also.Make dua to Allah Ta’ala & put your complete & total trust in Him.

 

Beauty & good looks are not the main criterion a man or woman should look for in a partner. It is best that you read & study the Quran in English so that you can learn how special you are.Learn what is required of you as a Muslimah, as a Muslim mother & wife also. Learn about your duties & responsibilities as a Muslim woman & know that success  in this world & the hereafter lies in obeying Allah Ta’ala’s commandments. You are a Muslim woman & therefore the most precious Creation of Allah Ta’ala. In obeying Allah Ta’ala’s commands, there is only good for you in this world & the hereafter. In disobeying His commands, there is only misfortune & difficulty in this world & the hereafter.

 

It is better to be a woman who fears Allah Ta’ala’s & who obeys Allah Ta’ala’s commands  Than to be the hand maiden of shaitaan as then there is only sorrow & pain in this world & the aagirah. A woman should never dress to please a man only. Her first concern should be to please Allah Ta’ala & therefore dress to earn His rewards & pleasure. Please know that no human being is ugly. Every human being is endowed with beauty that has been conferred by our Creator.

 

Don’t ever allow anybody to convince you that you are ugly. It is a Sunnah to get married so please do not think of shunning this Sunnah, as to get married is to complete half your imaan.

And Allah knows best

Wassalamu Alaikum

Social Dept.

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa

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