Category: Misc. Fiqh
Fatwa#: 17691
Asked Country: India

Answered Date: Mar 10,2009

Title: 1)can you pls tell me the sunnah method of sending a proporsal to a female's house? 2)can you pls tell me the sunnaht way of getting married from the start to the end that is the nikkah....

Question

Dear Brother i am really happy to see your'll are doing such a great work for allah.may allah guide all of us..my questions are.
1)can you pls tell me the sunnah method of sending a proporsal to a female's house? 2)can you pls tell me the sunnaht way of getting married from the start to the end that is the nikkah and the walima. 3)can you pls tell me the sunnah of wat to do in the first night and duas we have to recite pls the full detail.4)what does the sharia say about honeymoon?
thankyou for your time..

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful


Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

 

1)      When a person intends getting married and he is looking for a marriage partner, then preference should be given to piety, other than restricting it to wealth and beauty.

عن أبى هريرة عن النبى -صلى الله عليه وسلم- قال « تنكح النساء لأربع لمالها ولحسبها ولجمالها ولدينها فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك ».

 

Abu Huraira (radiyallahu anhu) reports that Rasulullah (salallahu alaihi wasallam) has said: “Women are generally married for four reasons, a) her wealth b) her lineage c) her beauty d) her piety. Seek for a pious wife and you would be successful.

 

 The proposal should be forwarded by contacting the parents of the girl or someone who would extend the proposal on your behalf.

In the Hadeeth of Tirmizi Nabi (salallahu alaihi wasallam) has encouraged the Sahabah to see the woman prior to proposing to her for marriage.

عن المغيرة بن شعبة : أنه خطب امرأة فقال النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم انظر إليها فإنه أحرى أن يؤدم بينكما
(Tirmizi vol.1 Pg207 )

Nowadays it has become a trend that when the boy goes to see the girl, the parents allow them two to communicate with each other and to sit alone in seclusion. As long as the Nikaah is not performed, she remains in the ruling of a strange woman to him. Such a practise is against the pure teachings of the Shariah.

(Aap ke Masaa’il vol.5 pg.34, Bayyinaat)
(Fatawa Rahimiyya vol.8 pg.151)

2) Once a suitable Marriage partner is found, the Nikaah should be performed as soon as possible, without any undue delay. Rasulullah (salallahu alaihi wasallam) mentioned to Ali (radiyallahu anhu):

  يا علي ثلاث لا تؤخرها الصلاة إذا آنت والجنازة إذا حضرت والأيم إذا وجدت لها كفؤا
(Tirmizi vol.1 pg 43, HM Saeed)

“O Ali! Do not delay in three things,(a) Salaah when the time approaches, (b) Janaazah once the body is ready and (c)   an un-married woman (to perform the Nikaah) when her match is found”

 The Nikaah ceremony should be kept as simple as possible and there should not be any extravagance.

عن عائشة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال "إن أعظم النكاح بركة أيسره مؤنة". (رواه البيهقي في " شعب الإيمان) 

The Nikaah should not be performed in secrecy, but rather it should be announced and conducted in the Musjid.

عن عائشة قالت : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم أعلنوا هذا النكاح واجعلوه في المساجد واضربوا عليه بالدفوف.
(Tirmizi Vol.1 pg 207,HM Saeed)

After the marriage is consummated, it is Sunnah to have a walima (i.e. to feed the people in the community).

عن أنس بن مالك أن النبى -صلى الله عليه وسلم- رأى على عبد الرحمن بن عوف أثر صفرة فقال « ما هذا ». قال يا رسول الله إنى تزوجت امرأة على وزن نواة من ذهب. قال « فبارك الله لك أولم ولو بشاة ».
(Bukhari vol.2 pg774, Deoband)
(Muslim vol.1 pg458, Deoband)

It should be borne in mind when having such functions that it should be held according to the financial ability of the individual. No unnecessary debts or loans should be undertaken. The weak and needy people should not be exempted from attaining such ceremonies, making it exclusive for the affluent.

عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه أنه كان يقول شر الطعام طعام الوليمة يدعى لها الأغنياء ويترك الفقرا
(Bukhari vol.2 pg778, Deoband)

 

3) (a) Place your hand on her forehead and recite the following Dua:

اللهم إنى أسألك خيرها وخير ما جبلتها عليه وأعوذ بك من شرها ومن شر ما جبلتها عليه
(Abu Dawood vol.1 pg293, HM Saeed)

O Allah! I ask you the good of her and the good which you created her upon, I seek protection in you from her evil and the evil you created her upon”

(b) Before intimacy with ones wife, the following Dua should be recited:

 بسم الله اللهم جنبنا الشيطان وجنب الشيطان ما رزقتنا
(Bukhari vol.4 pg.109, Darul Fikr)

“O Allah! Protect us from Shaytaan and protect our progeny from Shaytaan”.

 

4) For the newlywed couple to go out and spend time together in isolation in order to come to know each other is permissible. The concept of “Honeymoon” as understood by the west has no basis in Shariah.

For more details refer to the following link: http://www.al-inaam.com/fataawa/marriage_crisis_wedding.htm

And the following books: a) The gift of Nikaah by Mufti Saeed Paalanpuri (daamat barakathu)

                                          b) Kitaabun Nikaah by Moulana Zahier Ragie (daamat barakathu)

 

And Allah knows best

Wassalamu Alaikum

Ml. Rayhaan Docrat,
Student Darul Iftaa

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah


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