Fatwa: # 17058
Category: Character & Morals
Country: United Kingdom
Date: 22nd August 2008

Title

Do children need to stay at home and look after their parents even thou it causes upset to the individual? What does Islam say about looking after your elderly parents and still living at home ?

Question

 

I am 37 years of age and I am looking to move away from my parent’s house. I am single and I am looking to move to another City in England which is approx 200 miles away from my parent’s house. My intentions are 100% pure. I want to get married and move to a new city where I will hopefully find a new Muslim wife and inshallah settle down and buy a house. I have never been married. I am looking to move to Manchester in England as I want a complete lifestyle change as housing and standard of living is far cheaper where I am currently living, plus Manchester has a massive Islamic community which I want to be a part off. The problem is that my parents would be very upset that I am leaving home as all my sisters have moved away apart from one sister who still lives at home. I am the only son.  I did mention to my Mum that would like to move out and she got very upset and very angry and said how dare I move out and she would disown me completely. I am living at home through guilt. I have not mentioned this to my father who I believe will also be equally as hurt. I do not want to abandon my parents and not have any contact with them and would like to keep a good relationship with them both if I can inshallah. My question is am I committing a sin and will I be punished for wanting to leave home and am in an Islamic sense am I allowed to leave home and move out. My intentions are very pure and will be very beneficial for me. However I do not want to upset anyone, especially my parents. Please advice and please can I have the Islamic point of view on this matter as I am very worried and stressed out at present and feel very lost and depressed, please help brothers or sisters, I desperately need some guidance.

 Do children need to stay at home and look after their parents even thou it causes upset to the individual? What does Islam say about looking after your elderly parents and still living at home ? I have now submitted this question 7 times; please please can someone help me.

 

 

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh

According to your explanation, you do not have any pressing need to leave your parents. You only wish is to start a fresh life elsewhere. Our advice to you is to consider the wish and welfare of your parents and remain with them. They are of age and you are the only son. If you leave them and go away against their wish, you will not be at ease wherever you are. Your wish to start a new life will be defeated. Thank Allah for granting you the opportunity to be with your parents and to serve them.

You don’t have to remain with your parents with guilt. Change your mindset and be there with them with pride and honour. The gaze on ones parents face with love and compassion is equivalent to an Umra. When the greatness of one’s parents is greater than even the Kaba Shareef, what is the value of Birmingham or any other place in the world in relation to being with your parents?

Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, “The happiness of Allah lies in the happiness of the father, the displeasure of Allah lies in the displeasure of your father. Jannah lies beneath the feet of your mother”.

We advise you remain with your parents and get their duas.

Wassalam

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa

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