Fatwa: # 16062
Category: Divorce (Talaaq)
Country: United States
Date: 12th July 2007

Title

I want Khula being the second wife

Question

I’m a second wife of my husband when we got married, he told me that he has a wife with kids but she is separate and she is filing for divorce (which later on he mention that it was his guess that she was filling for divorce) I agreed to marry him because he told me that I will help him raise his kids as a good muslims.

since the first wife is a converted muslim. But now more then one year passed there is no divorce and he is telling me that for kids sake he has to go stay with her but he will not tell her ever and by hiding from her he will pay me visits. And he is also telling me if I give up my rights like about spending time, money, and other matter then he can manage the two wives it means he will come to me when he can and give me fix money but not equally. Bear in mind that our marriage is not disclosed to anyone in our families because he told me his case is pending in court about his children visitation and it can create problems for him. right now he has limited visitation to his kids due to his wife filed the case of neglecting( which is not true) and he talk to them over the phone,.

this is my second marriage too and I have one 10 year old and my husband passed away. By Allah’s guidance I’m learning deen and trying hard to practice in my daily life, Alhumdolliah. I have good heart and I want to stay with him and help him but no matter how hard I’m trying my mind is not in peace because I feel more like his girl friend, then his wife. I know he has his four marriages right from Allah and I have no objection but what I should do when I cant bear this. The way he comes and go its hurt me and my son need a father figure that’s why I got married which I think he is fail to be there for me and him he comes to me when he can and  since he never want to tell her about us it will be difficult for him to do justice.

Please tell me if he cant do justice between two of us and I don’t want him to divorce her, can I ask for divorce? is this a sin?  I’m mentally and emotionally getting hurt and it is also effecting my son. Please reply soon

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful  

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh

If the wife proposes for a khula, and the husband agrees, a talaaq e baain will take place.

 

تبيين الحقائق شرح كنز الدقائق - (ج3 / ص  182دار الكتاب ديوبند( 

 وحكمه وقوع الطلاق البائن

 

در المختار - (ج 3/ ص 440 سعيد)

 لو قال : خلعتك - ناويا الطلاق - فإنه يقع بائ

DISCLAIMER - AskImam.org questions
AskImam.org answers issues pertaining to Shar'ah. Thereafter, these questions and answers are placed for public view on www.askimam.org for educational purposes. However, many of these answers are unique to a particular scenario and cannot be taken as a basis to establish a ruling in another situation or another environment. Askimam.org bears no responsibility with regards to these questions being used out of their intended context.
  • The Shar's ruling herein given is based specifically on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question.
  • AskImam.org bears no responsibility to any party who may or may not act on this answer and is being hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused.
  • This answer may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of AskImam.org.
  • Any or all links provided in our emails, answers and articles are restricted to the specific material being cited. Such referencing should not be taken as an endorsement of other contents of that website.
The Messenger of Allah said, "When Allah wishes good for someone, He bestows upon him the understanding of Deen."
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]