Fatwa: # 15752
Category: Repentance (Tawbah)
Country: United States
Date: 22nd October 2007

Title

I have been in an Haram relation with a girl for last 7-8 years. It started with simple chat.

Question

I am a regular reader of your Fatwas and I must admit that due to this I left a lot of bad habbits.  You are doing a noble deed and may Allah reward you for this herein and afterwards.

My questions are about Zina.  I learned from many questions asked to you about Zina, in every answer you stress upon breaking every kind of Haram relations immediately and forever.  I am also a victim of this Sin and did as you advised.

I have been in an Haram relation with a  girl for last 7-8 years.  It started with simple chat, phone talk and then into a serious relationship.  I am already married and have 3 kids while she is single.  Due to my family problems and commitments, I cannot marry her.  I repented a number of times in past and tried to stay away from Zina.  I stopped myself from visiting her place and kept talking with her on phone, which later brought me into the same trap repeatedly.

6 month ago, I heard a bayan on Zina and later read the punishments of Zina which I was not fully aware of earlier.  I made a solid Repent  and promised myself that I will never go near Zina again.  Alhamdo-Lillah I am successful up-till now and Insha-Allah keep myself seeking forgiveness from Allah for all my sins by praying five times and avoiding all bad habbits .    As advised by you to most of people, I stopped every kind of relation with her.   At start it was very hard for me to resist against the evil wills, but now I have been successful to  control these evils.  Now the problem is the girl with whom I had relation, she is very upset.  I understand she truly loves me and cannot live without me.  I do have soft corner for her in my heart.  But after all it is haram so I must not look at her wishes because due to this soft corner I already done a lot of haram things.

The matter upsets me is,  She says that I have been using her, playing with her body and feelings and now when she needs me, I am leaving her.  She says that  She will not forgive me for this and at the day of Judgment, I will have to face the consequences.  She says that Allah will forgive Haqooq Ullah but, will not forgive Haqooq Ul Ebaad, which makes me very upset.    She also says that I spoiled her habits and if she do anything wrong with anyone else, I will be responsible for that and I will be equally punished for her sins.

Is it like that?  Will I have to face the Haqooq Ul Ebaad on this matter and will I be responsible for the bad acts of her due to the habits,  I gave her?  If yes, what should I do in this situation?

Please also reply the following:-

There is no male in her house at the moment and her mother who calls me son and her sisters to whom I call sisters, depends a lot on me and my visits to their house because I use to do the shopping for them  as well as I solve their day to day problems.  Can I continue supporting them without having any relations with her while all they are not Mehram to me.

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh

Your relationship with the girl is Haraam. It is Fardh for you to terminate this relationship immediately. If you do not do so, you will be guilty of the sin of Zina.

It is obvious that both of you will experience some pain in distancing yourselves from each other as that is against the Nafs. The Nafs wants to be fed with Haraam. The shaitaan is also the external enemy to aggravate the Nafs with justifications. You will not be answerable to Allah for leaving the girl. There is no violation of the Haquq ul Ibaad here. That is only for halal and a wholesome relationship. Not for a haram relationship as is in your case. You should be be strong and keep away.

Let it be known to her and her family that the only reason for keeping away is Shariah. Acknowledge your relationship was Haraam. Tell them you now regret it and Allah has given you taufeeq to change. That will serve as an advise to the girl to repent and also change her lifestyle. She is also aware of the haram relationship but cannot help herself as you are in contact with her and feeding her nafs. Leave her completely. Don’t offer any assistance whatsoever. If you do not do this, the direct contact will lead you back in the old trap as you may not resist communicating with her.

Make tawba and deal with your life. She will deal with hers.

And Allah knows best

Wassalam

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa

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