Fatwa: # 15121
Category: Character & Morals
Country: United States
Date: 30th April 2007

Title

She stopped wearing niqaab now, and she left her family and now does a lot of bad things like have a boyfriend

Question

I have this friend who is a woman who was born and raised Muslim. She used to be into her religion a lot. She went to a part-time Alima school for about 5 years, she started wearing niqaab, and she was starting to get into Sufism, and trying to attain wilaya. Suddenly, something happened that really changed. Everybody tells her to ignore whatever bad thoughts she had about Islam, but she says that she can't. She stopped wearing niqaab now, and she left her family and now does a lot of bad things like have a boyfriend, who she says she's going to marry but he's not Muslim. For some reason though, she still prays her salaahs. When I asked her why, she said that she simply never considered not praying. What does that mean? How should I proceed with her?

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh

Jazakallah for writing to the institute regarding the state of your friend's imaan at the moment. May Allah Ta'ala in His infinite mercy and rahmah protect her and us from being led astray, ameen. It is indeed troubling that at a young lady who is at the prime of her life has "lost" her way.

Shaitaan is our worst enemy and he makes the most effort on those who are in the path of Allah Ta'ala. A student of Islam is the greatest enemy of shaitaan and he has targeted your friend.

Sister, it would appear that you are close to her and rightfully concerned about her. On what level are you able to get through to her and what have you been able to discuss with her? What are the bad thoughts that you write about? It is possible that at the moment she is not prepared to listen to anyone who points out the error of her ways to her. Alhamdoelillah, she performs salaah which means that she stills holds on to her faith. Is it possible to get her to spend more time with you and with your love, understanding and friendship, she will start thinking more clearly? Perhaps your kindness and love will get through to her. Instead of scolding and lecturing to her, just show her through your actions that the way of Islam is what Allah Ta'ala destined for us. Try not to get into any discussion or arguments with her but if she brings up anything, remind her that she is loved by Allah Ta'ala, she is His creation,  to Him is her return and that He is aware of her salaah.  Remember sister that Allah Ta'ala's love for us is so vast that He gives us  time to "come back" to Him even when we have gone astray.

Insha'allah, with time, she may confide in you and tell you what has led her to go this way. Do you think this man she is with can be convinced to accept Islam? Will it be possible to introduce him to an imaam or a young pious Muslim who could talk to him about Islam?

Do you know how her family have dealt with her so far? I can understand that her present actions must be of great pain to them as you mention that she has studied at an Alima school for five years. Is she close to a sibling who still has contact with her and who influence her in some way?

Please feel free to write again so that we can explore this matter further. May Allah Ta'ala in His infinite mercy guide her and all of us and protect our imaan, ameen.

And Allah knows best

Wassalam

Sister Fadila
Social Dept.

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa

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