Category: Character & Morals
Fatwa#: 14841
Asked Country: South Africa

Answered Date: Jan 24,2007

Title: What can I do to ensure my child learns the real Islam and not this distortion?

Question

I have been Muslim now for 5 years, Alhamdullilah. I am married and have one child. BUT I am so disillusioned with my fellow Muslims, even my in-laws. There are such a lot of racism, sexism, discrimination based on casts, innovation going on in the Muslim community I live in that I sometimes wish I could get out of there. My Iman suffers at time although I know I will never leave Islam as I firmly believe in the principles of Islam. I just don't know how to deal with my fellow Muslims. Trying to tell them what they are doing wrong using the Qur'an and Hadith simply does not work. They think I know nothing since I am a revert. Practising what I believe in, hoping it will be an example to them, simply has no impact since they think I am extreme.

I am worried about the effect all of this "wrongness" will have on my child as she grows up. I want her to be a Muslim, but I don't want her to get used to all of these wrong things. I want her to know the real Islam. What makes it more difficult is that my husband does not agree with me, he feels I became Muslim and married him and should follow all of these "traditions" whether they are right or wrong Islamically.

What can I do to ensure my child learns the real Islam and not this distortion?

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Allah showed you the light of Islam and also gave you the tawfeeq (ability) to accept Islam. He will also grant you the courage to go through all the challenges you face. You are not alone in your plight. There are many Muslim female reverts that face a similar plight like you. Those that are steadfast and apply wisdom have made a deep impact in the lives of those associated with them. It is incorrect to think reverts don’t know anything. Many reverts know more than those born as Muslims. It is normal for a revert to be frustrated at the wrong practices of Muslim. Generally reverts expect Muslims to be educated on Islam and also practice on Islam, but that is not so.

You should contain yourself and not get upset. Being upset will not be of any good to you. Apply hikmat and wisdom and practice on Islam to the best of your ability. Win the people around you. Once you do that, that will be a stepping stone for you to sow your seed of wisdom and practice Islam in their hearts. It is precisely for this reason Allah advises us to call towards him with wisdom. Human nature is sensitive to what it accepts and what it rejects.

And Allah knows best

Wassalam

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa

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